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Any one else freaked out by being on meds?

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Posted 2/21/2009 12:47 PM (GMT 0)
I have always been a person who hated taking even Motrin for a headache....

and I find myself on paxil, clonazepam and just started Lexapro (to get off Paxil)

Most of my anxiety right now is due to the fact that I am on all this stuff!

It scares the crap out of me...

how do you deal with that? Does it bother anyone else?

My plan is to get down to only Lexapro so I have to keep my eye on the prize...

thanks

Dawnie

Posted 2/21/2009 4:40 PM (GMT 0)
HI Nikki!

I sent you an email as well....

I read your post about getting off the Clonazepam.

How long have you been on the Lex and Clonazepam now?

I've been on the Clonaz. about 3 weeks now and finally added the 2.5mg lexapro last night.

My  biggest goal is to get off this Paxil and to start feeling better.

I was going to taper off the Clonaz first but I was told it would be better to get settled on the SSRIs first.

*hugs*

Dawnie smurf

Posted 2/21/2009 10:41 PM (GMT 0)
I used to be the same way myself.... I wouldn't take aspirin for a headache... Wouldn't take Nyquil for a cough... I refused to take medicine. No amount of pleading or threats could get me to take that stuff...

But now... I'm at the point where I HAVE to take medicine.... If I don't, I'm in a world of trouble... I take medicine not only for depression and anxiety, but also for Crohn's...

I remember one time I was on like... five different medications all at the same time... //@.@\\'... It was crazy...
Posted 2/22/2009 1:49 AM (GMT 0)

No im grateful for the meds, been on em since i was 14, so over half my life. i rely in them to help me. they dont scare me at all, they just sometimes frustrate me cos of side effects.

not scared one bit- i know i couldnt lead or maintain a 'normal' life without them. i find it comforting to know that there is medicine that can assist with my extreme panic & agoraphobia. the meds are a blessing in disguise.

Maz XX


Posted 2/22/2009 2:10 AM (GMT 0)
You know what, that is a great outlook....

before meds people just had to suffer with all these problems, so I should be greatful there is so much out there that can help.

but you are right, side effects are a pain!

thanks for your reply. I guess I will get over my med phobia one way or another!

(my experience with Paxil was love-hate....it changed my life and was wonderful for years until I started messing with the dosing. That's when it got ugly!)

*hugs*

Dawnie

Posted 2/22/2009 2:12 AM (GMT 0)
Celey,

what meds are you on now for anxiety and depression?

thanks,
Dawnie
Posted 2/22/2009 4:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hi All,

I usually hang out at the crohn's forum. Though I do read other forums, as well. I hate taking a bunch of meds. Currently taking  29 meds.28 are daily and the remicade is every 6 weeks.I have had my doctors look at the list to see if we can eliminate any. So far, the answer is no. I wonder how bad off I would be without some of them.

ya'll take care. Julie

Diagnosed  Crohn's, 1998..Gangrene Small Bowel,1998..Ostomy Take Down,1999..TPN for 5 1/2 months..Adhesion Removal,1999..Abdominal Hernia Repair,2000..Kidney Artery Bypass,2001..Diabetes,,Sleep Apnea,,Silent Heart Attack,,Blocked Kidney Artery after the Bypass..Bulging Disks, Pinched Nerve..MEDS--,Purinethol,Folic Acid, Fish Oil,Remicade,Bentyl,Anamantle Cream,Cortifoam ,Darvocet, Flexeril.and many more. 29 meds..

Posted 2/22/2009 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
I take meds every day & they help.Wouldn't even think of not taking them.No I don't like them but they keep me alive...........
Posted 2/22/2009 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dawnie,

I have had a long love/hate relationship with my panic/anxiety medications. I have tried (unsuccessfully I might add) to stop meds. altogether 5 times in the past 15 years (mainly over the past 6 years since I elected to go off med.s during my pregnancies and I hopes that maybe the panic would magically disappear after the birth - never happened!). I too don't even take Tylenol unless absolutely necessary. I hate taking medications of any kind!

I am on similar medications - I take lexapro and klonopin. 3 weeks ago I cut them in half to 5mg lexapro & .25mg klonopin daily because I have a new therapist and I'm trying to work on other techniques to help me cope (when I was on my full medications, I had very little "break through" panic and some unpleasant side effects) - starting CBT, etc.

It's really illogical because if I don't take my medications I am absolutely miserable, thrown into constant and daily panic attacks, stressed out of my mind...but yet I still stress about taking the few things that actually make me functional?

What I don't like, as some have mentioned, are the side effects. That is just something that we have to deal with...however, I have noticed them decrease greatly in the past few weeks after halving my medications.

Anyway, I think that it's part of our anxiety that causes us to stress about everything, including the medications that help us. I have to consciously remind myself that these medications are helping me, that the benefits far outweigh the negatives and it's OKAY to take them. That's a biggie - it is OKAY to have help from medications to control our anxiety. We don't have to be a superhuman and be able to do it ourselves all the time.

Take care :)
Posted 2/22/2009 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
Mom to 3...

thanks so much for your reply!

I am very similar...

I was never on meds for my anxiety. I had anxiety as a child and my first panic attack at age 16. I went through social anxiety, agoraphobia, panic attacks, and GAD on and off my whole life, but no meds.

(I did drink wine during that time to help--)

I felt WONDERFUL during my first pregnancy! No anxiety! must have been a hormonal thing?

Did good for a while but my social anxiety crept back. Then I had my second baby (about 20 months later) and had a panic attack in the hospital after she was born (traumatic delivery). I kept it to myself though....

I had post partum depression, and then my mom died 3 weeks after the birth.


Well that was it, I broke down and fell apart. Enter in Paxil CR. For the first time in my life, I felt normal! I felt wonderful....I could be a mom, a great mom at that. I was relaxed and happy and loving life. I decided I would be on Paxil the rest of my life if I had to be.

Well, I felt so good I wanted baby #3, so I started tapering off. Did really well till I had some stresses in my life that caused the panic to come right back in. Tried to go up in Paxil dose but it no longer worked....went up up up to high doses and then had awful side effects.

I have been tapering down the paxil ever since....thinking I am DONE with meds!!!

but I got down to about 6.5mgs of Paxil and can't take it anymore. The anxiety, the OCD....I have been living in hell.

So I KNOW I have to get back on meds and get straightened out. The process of getting there has been taxing to say the least.

I am now on about 6.5 Paxil, .25 Clonazepam, and just started on 2.5 of Lexapro.

They are going to ramp me up on the Lexapro (hopefully just up to 10mgs or so) and taper me off Paxil.

I PRAY that once I get off paxil and onto Lexapro I canhave my life back.

Has Lex/Klonopin been good for your anxiety and OCD type stuff?

thanks for reading my ramble...

*hugs*

Dawnie

Posted 2/22/2009 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, it's definitely hormones during pregnancy! It was like a miracle - my anxiety/panic dropped so low - I still had some attacks, but nothing in comparison to non-preggers. I had a terrible panic attack after my 2nd delivery, so I can totally relate. And how awful to lose your mother during that rough time anyway - ouch.

Yes, on the whole, I have been very happy with the Lexapro/Klonopin combo. I started in mid-November. I started on Lexapro first, but I will still having some panic attacks, so my doctor added the Klonopin later. I was a total mess prior to that - a "living hell" as you put it. Very painful past few years having to deal with husband's problems (won't even try to share all that mess)...but the good news is that we are all back on track and I'm finally able to focus on MYSELF for a change! At least a little bit while juggling work & kiddos :)

So since I have time to start seeing a great therapist and I'm in an emotional place where I can work on alternative techniques, I decided to cut my meds. in half. Doing so actually allows a little panic/anxiety to break though, but that's necessary for me to work on these new techniques and alternative treatments.

I think you will be happy with the new combo. - I had few side effects. Some drowsiness with Lexapro but basically no side effects to the Klonopin at all. Remember, it does take a few weeks for your system to get the full benefit of any new SSRI. Keep me posted and let me know how it goes!!!
Posted 2/22/2009 8:17 PM (GMT 0)

Dawniedo2

Hey there, I am not happy to be on meds but I know that without them I would not always be doing as well as I am so I consider the meds as part of my daily routine to help me stay out of the pits of Anxiety and Depression.

I have never had an aversion to the meds except the ones with the nasty side effects.

Take care and know you Anxiety Family is right here for you.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 2/22/2009 8:29 PM (GMT 0)
Forgot to ask, Mom...

Did you cut down on the Lex and Kpin at the same time?

How did you do with that? (how long had you been on the combo when you cut them both in half?)

my other fear is that this lexapro won't work and then I will be on 3 meds...

that I will have to get off of.

Trying to keep my fears at bay and give it time.
Posted 2/22/2009 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
You guys are awesome.

I don't have many folks I can talk to about this stuff....I keep all of it to myself (and my poor husband!)....

so it really helps to have you guys.

Someone who has been there and done that is priceless!!!

*hugs* to you all...

Dawnie

PS-- I am a 38 year old married, mother of 2, owner of a pet sitting business.

feel like I should have introduced myself!

blush  

Posted 2/22/2009 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
No problem - ask away! I didn't have any support from my family until I forced them to support me in my late teens (still LOTS of pain around that) and then they finally have very slowly begun to open up to the idea, along with sharing some extremely pertinent family history about my grandparents that would have been very helpful 15 years too late! I kept all this junk to myself for so long and I now have had a calling to share with others...sounds hokey, but I want to share experiences and offer any support that I can. I wish that I had had support during all those years suffering alone!

ANYWAY - back to your question - I did it at the same time...but, as I mentioned before, I now have breakthrough panic episodes. What I did change was the "when" I took the .25mg of klonopin. I don't have a set time of day. Before, I was taking .25mg mid-morning and .25mg late afternoon. Now, I take my one .25mg dose whenever I feel the anxiety is starting to build. Could be 9am one day, 4pm the next. I still take it every day, but not at the same time. I take the Lexapro at the same time every day - right before bed. And there have been a few days where I did take the two doses of .25mg if it was a particularly bad day - maybe 2-3 days over the past 3 weeks (today being one of them! had taken dose already this morning and then this afternoon a very bad attack hit and I had to take another). Then some days I don't feel like I need the klonopin at all, but I take it anyway in the late afternoon just to stay on track.

I relate to your poor husband! Mine just doesn't get it. It is so difficult for him to understand and he tries so hard, but has been somewhat hopeless in a support role. Despite his best efforts, he just never says the right thing. My panic/anxiety/ocd just plain makes him nervous (my own opinion, he has not expressed that). But he owes me, so he definitely never complains :)

PS - have a signature, but I'm a 32 old mother of 3 who works for a family-owned wholesale toy company...and I love animals (even my own tiny tim crazy beaglie!) so fun career for you!
Posted 2/22/2009 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Dawnie,

I also don't like taking the meds, but it is better than suffering imho. I hope all works out great for you and I don't have much advice than all the great info already given to you :) Take care!
Posted 2/22/2009 11:21 PM (GMT 0)
I'm on Prozac..... used to take Clonazepam, too... but I don't take it anymore... It made me really shaky... //^_^\\'
Posted 2/22/2009 11:26 PM (GMT 0)
Prozac was what they gave me at first to get off the Paxil. I was nervous about Prozac because I read it was really stimulating and more for Depression than Anxiety....

I guess Clonazepam is pretty popular huh? I had never heard of it before....only knew of Xanax.
thanks again for all your replies.
Posted 2/22/2009 11:45 PM (GMT 0)
Dawnie, I've been afraid of meds too. I've been lucky and didn't need meds for any serious problems. My whole life I mostly just took tylenol. I've been on Prozac for a few years now. I take the lowest dosage but only because it's been working for me. I didn't have to increase it.

I recently began taking Carvedilol. I had a wonderful few weeks until my blood pressure took a dive. Today I checked it and it was 80/60 and that's after reducing the dosage by half. By the way, Carvedilol is a beta blocker that was to help with my heart palpitations.

So, to answer your question, I do what I have to now to make it through each day with as little suffering as possible. I'm tired of the fear, the symptoms, the doubt, the what-ifs. So for me, if it means taking a med to make my life more enjoyable, I'm going to do it.

Dawnie, you may not always need these medications. Maybe you'll only need them for a short time. But if you do need them, be grateful that we live at a time where these safe medications are available. Try not to be hard on yourself or be in a hurry to get off the meds if they are working. Sometimes we just need help. Good luck.
Posted 2/23/2009 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
No I am not afraid of meds either. I have had Crohns disease for over 33 years and to be honest I take handsfull in the morning and handsfull at night. If I didn't my life would be miserable. For my anxiety I only use the Xanax as needed, which is usually 1-2 a month. As stated above sometimes meds are necessary for us to have a good quality of life.
Posted 2/23/2009 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
IMHO - In my humble opinion
ROF**** - Rolling on the floor laughing my *** off
**** - I don't know:)
Posted 2/24/2009 12:31 AM (GMT 0)
Hey there!

I just wanted to say that it's pretty normal for those of us with anxiety/panic disorder to be a little freaked out (or a lot even) at the prospect of taking meds. A lot of it has to do with just plain worrying about side-effects, etc. But a big part of it, as I've learned through therapy, is because we identify our condition as being part of what we are. I don't know if this applies to you or not, but wanted to share it as it was an important thing for me to think about for me.

The meds we sometimes take will not change the core person you are. If anything, they will free you up to be MORE of who you really are. They are not happy pills. They will not change you. All they do is help balance the chemistry in our brains so that they function properly. Brain scans have shown a deficiency in seratonin, etc. that are not present in people who do not have anxiety disorders.

For me, it was Zoloft and Xanax/clonazepam. Yes, I was anxious as could be about taking them, but I eventually began to see that the only "effect" that these seemed to have was that I simply wasn't as anxious in settings that previously caused me a lot of panic before, and that it was much easier to forget my fears and enjoy myself.

Hang in there, and again, your feelings are perfectly natural... we sure hate change, don't we? =)
Posted 2/24/2009 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Babblin! Great post....

I do worry about side effects, "loosing it" due to some reaction, etc etc for sure. but you bring up a great point....

funny, I recall when I finally decided to take that Paxil for the first time, I cried and cried about it. SO scared.

But then I recall maybe a year after being on it, saying wow, I finally feel like I am free to be ME, the real me! it was wonderful....

My fear right now is being on SO MANY of these kinds of meds. I only ever needed Paxil and that was it.

Now I am on 3 different meds (temporarily though) and it scares me. I just keep trudging through it, and reminding myself that the only way OUT is THROUGH.....

(even though sometimes I wanna drop it all and run back--where I would go to wasn't that great--so I am gonna keep going forward and hoping it gets better)

and YES I do hate change! You got me pegged!

*hugs*
Dawnie
Posted 2/24/2009 5:04 AM (GMT 0)
I'm really happy that my post has helped! It means a lot to me, and I'm really glad that I've found a place to help and be helped. There's no anxiety disorder groups where I live, and having a place to talk about it will help, I can tell that already! =)

As I recall, I think I came to that realization with the help of my therapist. You know, the good ones seem to lead you to the answers without telling you flat out. Or he may have just told me. I honestly can't remember.

I also believe that what we all experience is what most other people experience, it's just that we have such active imaginations that our minds run away with thoughts, and we simply overreact. We tell ourselves that we shouldn't be feeling this way, instead of realizing that the situation we're in is stressful for others, too. It's just that they aren't as sensitive as we are. Call it an allergic reaction to stress! I dunno... just something else I've realized over time that applies very much to me. I guess a good example is going to a dentist. I don't know of anyone who looks forward to having teeth drilled or even having someone poke around in their mouth, but just knowing I have to go shakes me to the core, and it's all I can do sometimes to get through it, or at least it feels that way. Right now I'm freaking out about having our bathroom redone (a gift from my sister-in-law), I suppose because of all the noise and having someone "invading my space". I'm going to try and get myself involved in it, so that it becomes part of MY project as well, and maybe that will help. I sure hope so!

I would very, very much like to be completely free of anxiety. As I get older, it seems like I have less and less energy to deal with it, and I definitely have my ups and downs. But I guess I've learned that being free of stress is simply impossible and is an unrealistic expectation. Like many of you, I just wish I didn't have to walk through the fire over and over and over to get to the other side. tongue
Posted 2/24/2009 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
Wow! I've been to Ashville!! My Mom and Dad lived near there, and I actually bit the bullet and flew there when he had to have some serious heart surgery done... talk about spacey feelings! smilewinkgrin
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