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Disturbing dreams

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Posted 5/4/2009 11:14 AM (GMT 0)
So here is a new twist on my anxiety. I have always had fairly vivid dreams, some weird, some scary but lately they have intensified immensely. I wake up in a complete panic, totally distraught and I just don't know what to do.
This morning I woke up after dreaming I was dying, like I actually saw "the light" and then I started yelling "NO!!" and felt like I was paralyzed, then I woke up and felt completely out of myself, spent the morning carrying the phone around with me. I'm so tired but part of me is scared to sleep because these dreams are really freaking me out. I know I should go see a therapist to talk to about this, I have frequent thoughts of death and fear I am dying or close loved ones are dying. I am sure it is just a result of losing 4 people who are close in the span of a month, but I can't shake my paranoia about death. If I'm not worried about dying myself then its my husband or my family and I get really upset, but over nothing really because they are fine. I know anything can happen and I wish I could just get that mindset of "what happens, happens" but I am just so scared all the time. 

 

Posted 5/4/2009 11:20 AM (GMT 0)

In my experience, ive been medicated for nearly 15 yrs- since i was 14 and EVERY single night since, i have dreamt, and dreamt very detailed, graphic, vivid and often horrible dreams. they seem extremely real. i wake up exhausted because i feel i was awake all night, as an active, awake participant in my crazy dreams. i also remember what i dreamt, every single morning, i have not missed a bizarre and sometimes distressing dream for nearly 15 yrs. i totally sympathise. the dreams arent always bad- they are more twisted and confusing, but sometimes they are upsetting.

Im sorry i cant tell you how to make them stop, i just wanted you to know that you are NOT alone.

Maz XX

Posted 5/4/2009 12:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dixi

Sorry to hear you are getting bad dreams, Like Maz I can really relate to you on this one as I get really bad/paranoid dreams every night and it is horrible and distressing. I suffer with bad insomnia and when I do get to sleep I get the nightmares so my brain still keeps active and I wake up and feel like I have had no sleep. I am planning on speaking to my therapist during my CBT and hopefully will be able to sort something out. I do think it is anxiety which is causing my bad dreams and I have had them since I was a kid. I hope that things get better for you soon and we are always here to support you so let us know how you are getting on.

Ben
Posted 5/4/2009 1:08 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Dixi,

I have read that disturbing dreams  express your subconscious worries and you can interpret your dream. In your case you are perhaps subconsciously worrying about dying as you have lost four impoertant people in your life and you are worrying that something may happen to you.

I will often dream about people who have died or people that I was talking about or thinking about during the day.  That night I find myself dreaming about them.  I wake up sometimes mad and sometimes sad but I can usually rationalize it away with remembering what is happening in my everyday life at the moment.  

I hope this helps you in some small way and know we are here for you.

Gentle Hugs dear friend,

Kitt

Posted 5/5/2009 12:31 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone. Its hard to talk to anyone else about these things. I tried to explain to my husband how upset the dream made me and I know its "just a dream" but it was so surreal and I know the panic I was feeling in the dream is exactly what I feel any other time, then I wake up to it and its just so scary to have them come on when I'm supposed to be resting and healing. I know lack of sleep always makes my panic worse, and definitely going to NJ did not help that at all. I think I'm going to pass on the next trip until I have a better handle on my anxiety. All of this really isn't worth it. I love my husband but I wish he could understand how this makes me feel, like I'm going to wind up in a mental institution which scares me even more than the panic attacks. I know thats probably unrealistic but I just feel like it gets so out of control sometimes, but I don't know how to work myself out of it.
Posted 5/5/2009 1:18 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning,

I am sorry your hubby does not understand but that is very typical of so many people that do not suffer from the mental health disorders.  It is difficult for people to understand an illness they cannot see in others.

If you have a cancer, or diabetes people understand better.  The good part is through advocacy we are starting to get more people to understand that Mental Health Disorders are just as difficult and painful to live with as many other recognized disorders.

You have all of us who understand where your coming from and what your going through.

Lots of hugs,

Kitt

Posted 5/5/2009 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dixi,

I feel for you. I really do. I've been suffering with depression and anxiety for many years now, but the past couple have seen manic episodes creep in, and these are always heralded by intense dreams, most of which are quite violent. Had one at the weekend, hence the new browsing of the web for those with similar experiences.

When I'm having them I can't get out of them..... they go on and on and I get so tired, yet everything in there is so detailed. When I wake up I can't work out what is real - can't separate the real memories from the fabricated ones. I have flashbacks - like I imagine bad Acid flashbacks would be like (having never taken drugs!). They catch me unawares for days afterwards. I feel constantly exhausted and cry for days afterwards.

My Mum is understanding, but my partner just can't grasp it - he thinks I should just be able to 'forget' it. I really wish I could - I'd do anything to stop these unwanted thoughts!

Mads
Posted 5/5/2009 5:30 PM (GMT 0)
......Dixi

Not too long ago I lost my mom ( 2 plus yrs and then ) Dad in June

I KNOW I saw them floating around the bdrm I sleep in but it also brought me some solace as well

I wish I could help you with yor dreams but als I cannot
Maybe get a book ( good one ) not a scam on dreams and what they mean
Just a thought

.............LYN
Posted 5/6/2009 1:52 AM (GMT 0)

Me too, ever since being on an SSRI.  They are so real I wake up and wonder if the dream really happened.  Many times I fall back asleep and go right back into the same dream.  Also may have the same dream several times a week.  Very vivid and some, extemely disturbing.  I just thought it was the medication.

Donna

Posted 5/6/2009 5:28 AM (GMT 0)
I've sometimes experienced the same type of things described here. Mainly, I have dreams that are so emotionally intense that I feel as if reality is off-kilter when I wake up. Often just speaking with someone about it, even describing the dream, helps me calm down, which leads me to believe that externalizing it (turning it into words rather than leaving it inside ourselves as thoughts) helps. I hope this makes sense!
Posted 5/6/2009 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks all, its so nice to have a group of people who understand what I'm going through. I *know* they are just dreams, its just hard to put them out of my reality when they are so intense and vivid. I am wondering if the Toprol is causing some of the problem, I think last time I thought it was the zoloft causing weird dreams but perhaps it was the Toprol after all since they seemed to dissapear after I stopped taking it. Hmm. Yet another reason it would be great to be medication-less.
Posted 5/7/2009 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
....So glad you are having success with the vivid
drams and nightmares

PLZ do kep us posted if they come back k

LYN
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