Could use a little help, please?

Hello there.

For the last 5 months I had been in a relationship with a guy that meant the world to me. I lost something important to me to him, and I did so because I believed that he would take care of that and wouldn't abuse it. For this last month, we had been broken up, but still very close, so I never really considered us not a couple. Well, he had asked me to his Senior Prom.  (I myself am a sophomore.) I went with him. Things were going really well, and I was having a lot of fun. He took me home early because he said he was tired.

Well, turns out he lied to me.

He told me that next morning that he had been out drinking and smoking all night after he dropped me off. I asked him why he lied to me, and he said, "I lied to you so I could escape your vicious life cycle you have me in." I didn't quite understand.  (Though now I understand that he really meant that other people think I had him whipped, and it bothered him a lot.) He said then, "I just want to live the single party life and you're interfering with that."

I let him go then. I gave him his things back this morning. He deleted me off his myspace, signaling that apparently we can't even be friends now.

My anxiety level is out the roof. I don't want to see him. When I gave him his things back, I started feeling like I was about to have one, though I calmed myself down enough to where I was able to prevent it. I don't know how to control it. I mean, I'm the only girl who has ever treated him well, and we both very deeply cared for one another. And he's just going to throw that all away?

My chest hurts just thinking about it right now. I've learned now that I can't please everyone, and that it's not worth it to cry if thats how he's going to be. I just dread school. I dread walking in the halls, for fear that I'll see him.

Help?

Thanks.  (:

I guess it's just something I'm not sure of how to do. I was very deeply involved with him, and he just kicked me to the curb like that. He used what I'd given him to his advantage. I don't know how to control my anxiety most of the time. Often times I don't even know I'm about to have one until I start breathing really shallow and my chest starts hurting really bad.

Any ideas on how to control them?

Hello, Moose!

I'm sorry that your boyfriend hurt you so. That would definitely fire up anyone's anxiety.

When I start getting that breathless feeling, I try to concentrate on breathing deeply and slowly. I also tell myself that it's just anxiety, and it can't hurt me. Sometimes, that makes it stop, but even when it doesn't, I feel stronger afterward for having tolerated the breathing symptoms without panicking.

percycat

Hey Moose  :)

Great support from the members and I am glad you are talking to us.

Percy mentioned the controlled breathing as a way to keep your anxiety down.  Another is trying relaxation exercises.  

Relaxation exercises are also good for occupying mental capacity. Relaxation exercises are techniques to relax muscles and relieve tension by using controlled breathing and muscle flexing. They usually involve sitting down in a comfortable chair, closing your eyes and systematically tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in your body, usually starting with the legs and feet.

As you slow down your breathing and work your muscles, you are supposed to mentally put yourself in what you would consider a relaxing situation. The best thing about relaxation exercises is that they can be done almost anywhere and at anytime. Remember to use a sitting position when doing the exercises rather than lying down since you do not want to fall asleep.

I use this method and I often will imagine myself in a calm and peaceful place such as sitting in the sun at the seashore.

You will be ok and with our help you will make it through.

I wish you peace and happiness but most of all I wish you love.

Kitt