Help

Hi everyone my name is April I used to come on healingwell from time to time but I havne't been on in awhile. Anyway I wanna tell my current situation. I've had anxiety all of my life and anxiety attacks well about five years ago they turned into full blown panic attacks and I didn't know what was happening to me I thought I was having a heartattack and dying. Well I went to the hospital and they said I was fine that it was a panic attack well they gave me some ativan and told me to go to mental health the following day so I did. they then started therapy and medicine which was Lexapro and Seroquel for sleeping. After awhile I was able to stop taking the Seroquel and all these years have been doing great. Well about two years ago I had gotten very depressed so my therapist sent me to a hospital which I was only there a few days. They added Haldol which made me way to tired so they switched me to thorazine well i've been doing terrific doing things I would never have done before good things. So my clinic switches DRS I go to see him my first time he tells me i've been on my meds to long I explain to him they are helping me just fine. I understand about the thorazine because of the long term effects anyway he switches me to zoloft and invega he starts slowing weining me off the thorazine and lexapro well just about the time I was set to stop the thorazine and lexapro I started having massive anxiety attacks again I told my thereapis she called the Dr he would not budge on changing me back or anything well I ended up in the psych hospital two times in the last month in a half they got me back on my lexapro among other things. But I just got out of the hospital on Friday and i'm scared and I keep wanting to go back there and hide cause I was doing good in there. Everyone tells me i'm so much better but it doesn't feel like it I have crying spells i'm still having some attacks i'm constantly worrying when my next attack will be. I've talked to three therapist since i've been out they all say I will get over this but my biggest fear is having to live in a psych hospital the rest of my life to feel normal and not cry all the time to feel safe and not have so many attacks. The therapists also told me that transitioning from inpatient back to home can have this affect on you as well . Anyway i'm very vulnerable and weak right now and in desperate need of reassurance and support so please help me through this rough time. I just want to get back to feeling normal again and I need to know there is people like me that are doing much better and who have been through this. Thank You so Much April...

about 18 years ago I spent 2 weeks in a psych ward. I was terrified to go home. Every time the therapist mentioned going home I got really scared. That was until they started me on biofeedback. I learned it very well and it got me back home and back to a normal life.

Your change in meds is not helping. The side effects are no doubt adding to your anxiety of coming home. Can you take a tranquilizer while your body gets used to the new drugs? Ask your doctor or a psychiatrist. That would help a lot.

Good luck to you. I know what it's like to be in a psych ward, be scared and terrified of going home. You can do this. I promise.