Hello everyone,
Well i have posted here before and got great answers, but i havent posted in a while.
In a nut shell, i have been dating a girl for almost a year now, we both came out of long term relationships and took it slow in the begininng. We talked for months and really got to know each other before acutally dating. She has a young child with her ex, he is a great little kid and even though i was never thinking of dating someone with a kid we have a lot of fun together.
I dont want to sound like every boyfriend that makes fun of thier partners ex but her ex is very immature, thats really the best way i can put it. I dont know him too well, but i know his actions, or lack thereof. I know when the kid was born he was in the hospital for only a couple hours (she was there for 3 days) and when asked why he said he was too tired to be there. After the kid was born they broke up, when she was pregnant i was told he went on a cruise and cheated on her or something close to that. After he was born they were not living together but she would still give him the opprotunity to see the kid even though he didnt really seem to care too much. He would say he would keep the kid for the night only to call hours later saying he had a stomach ache or something (this is supposed to be an adult with a son) and couldnt watch him anymore. Recently the baby has been sick to the point of being on a resperator and the father said he would take him to his doctors appt the next day, he never showed up and called late afternoon asking if he could see the kid and not caring at all about the fact that he missed the appt. His response was that he made a mistake so get over it.
Im trying to explain this as mature as i can so to not sound like im just cutting him down for no reason, but he isnt the most intimidating person in the world if thats the word. He was spoiled when he was younger and is the perfect example of "young adults nowadays" where going out and having some beer with the bro's and watching the game is all that matters. He has made multiple comments about me and has no problem "saying" what he can do to people, when in all reality all he does is posture when any drama has happened. On one incident he actually showed up at a buddies house crying because everyone he knew basically blew him off because of his actions that i listed above.
The thing is with this guy is it never ends, every other week i hear a new story about how he doesnt do something for the kid or how he was out and he did this or that. Now i dont surround myself with him, his friends or anyone that knows him but i live in this town and i have ears, so its not always that hard to hear things about other people. The problem that im having and the reason im posting this is after the last incident with him forgetting to take the kid to the doctor and basically saying it was no big deal, i cant seem to get him out of my head. In my head i cant figure out how someone could actually be like that and be ok with it. In his head he is the best dad around and the coolest, toughest guy on the block. He really isnt arrogant and if you saw him today he would look no different then anyone else his age, but when you hear him talk or hear his actions you will think otherwise.
I have always had a problem understanding how people can do the things they do when it comes to someone like this. Somebody told me once that if you are a piece of crap you know it and see it everyday in the mirrior. I dont agree with that, i think people like this guy actually think its ok to do what they do and i think that is what eats me up about it. Lately it just doesnt end though, everytime i get a free minute im thinking about him, "How can someone be like that?", "Are you kidding me?", "Why would he do that?". Its been months now and to be frank, i dont know why i care. Its not because of her, in my mind she made that bed now she has to lay in it.
The only thing i can come up with, is to me he is the exact definition in what i dislike about people my age, the youth nowadays seem to have no respect for anything and just dont care as long as they are comfortable, no one is unique anymore i feel like. Im young myself but do not act like most my age.
Overall its very unreal to me and something that i cant stop thinking about, please let me know what you guys think.