College Student in need of help with OCD

All my life, I knew something was different about me. People say I'm just not thinking straight, and my thoughts are unreasonable. I know they are...that's why I need help.

I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). It's not the same thing as what most people thing. I don't really have any repetitive things I HAVE to do otherwise I get agitated, but there are some things I DO have to do, otherwise I feel like I'll die. I CAN'T step on the cracks...I have to do things JUST right...I need a routine that I can STICK to...etc.

I'm obsessed with my fiancee's looks and mine as well, and I'm REALLY obsessed about planning our wedding (so much so that I don't want to wait a year till I can actually start setting things in stone...we're having a two year engagement, and he wants me to wait at least a year before I start making REAL commitments in this planning). I've been obsessing over my schoolwork, my classes, my finances, HIS finances, etc. It's horrible...it has me SO stressed out, and that stress makes me only MORE stressed, since I obsess over my stress!

I also have a problem with thoughts. I get horrible thoughts that just enter my head, though it's not ANYTHING I would EVER want to do to ANYONE! Sometimes, it's a fear that enters my head of someone getting hurt or killed. I NEVER would think like that!!! I KNOW it's the obsessive compulsive, because I wish these thoughts would never come! EVER! I read on a website (a few actually) that those thoughts ARE part of the OCD.

My brother has OCD AND turrets, and the doctor has him on a medication that controls serotonin intake, so though the serotonin is still being made at the same rate as normal, it's being absorbed more slowly, so it mellows his mood swings out.

Is there anything that might be similar to this, only naturally? Any sort of even vitamin or supplement? Does ANYONE know? Please? My OCD has been affecting my schoolwork and my social life. It's hard to live with it...

Welcome..I am a person that has/had lived with OCD all my life it revolved around routine and obsessive cleaning..Thoughts of my loved ones lvg me entered in as well...suffice it to say that a couple mths ago I was found by my teen daughter n hospitalized as I was having seizures and very ill.Since I have made it thru that and many thought I would not I have come to se that I had to make self stop the thoughts and if there was a dish (or is ) in the sink let it be ya know ..I could never leave even a spoon in the sink all my house was balanced nic nacs pics everything I was severely OCD...As Kitt mentioned there are good tx plans that can help you out as well .Medications can help but myself I choose not to medicate after talking over with my doc.I wil not say it isnt still hard at times when I see something on the floor or something out of place not to get it fixed immediately but I am now able to sit n watch tv or talk to ppl not worrying all the time about my routine.ROUTINE really ran my life and made me go off the wall at times....There may be a support group in your area why not check into that as well.....For me now when I get those bad thoughts going round and cannot sleep I have a hot milk and try to think of other good things in my life..sometimes i might still have to take trazadone for sleep but it has become less and less.I know the mess will get clean and I am feeling... alot more relaxed now with myself not expecting to be all for all ya know.....MY MOM WAS THE SAME AND MY 16 yr old is also showing the sx of the routine. cleaning ocd and that makes me feel bad as she learned what she lived as did I...........Kitt gave sage advice and I wish you all the best try to learn coping methods while u are still able to change patterns more easily imho........Let us know how u make out ...take care...lyn