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Can people hide depression/anxiety?

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Posted 1/4/2010 6:22 AM (GMT 0)
So all of my life I have been afraid to be different than other people. I did not want to be negative unless someone else was negative. But deep down I was feeling a different way than the way I showed others. Anyways I guess what I am trying to say is it always noticeable to everyone else when someone has depression or anxiety? I mean I can usually pick out people who are depressed or who have anxiety but is it possible that there are a bunch of people who hide it because they do not want to be different or made fun of? Or is it too hard to hide?
Posted 1/4/2010 1:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,
I find it hard to hide anxiety and depression, but I guess it can be done. Anybody can hide anything if there good engouhg. Why would you want to hide? What's it say about people if they can't except you for who you are. My illness is part of who I am, and it may not always be that way and I hope that some day I will be free of the depression and anxiety. I hope that you will not be afraid to be your self. or if it is someone else that you can find a way to be supportive to them. just a thought.....
Posted 1/4/2010 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Forum. Yes a person can hide their anxeity and depression as I did for 26 years from my co-workers and while I was laughing on the outside I was crying on the inside. I would burst into tears when I got to my car after leaving a high anxiety day at work and no one at work ever knew how I felt so for me, yes, I became very good at acting.


Kitt
Posted 1/4/2010 3:19 PM (GMT 0)
Some people can hide it. Others can't or don't want to in my experience. For my part I had trouble hiding the depression when it was really bad. When it was better I could hide it pretty easily. Now that the switch has turned to anxiety, it's pretty much the same thing. I can hide it unless it's really bad at the moment. Dealing with clients, I have to suck it up. If I cannot, I lose business, so I have to try and am usually successful in holding it back for time. Maybe the floodgates open when the meeting is over, but sometimes I come out of it feeling better than I went in. There's really no telling. But anyway, yes it can be hidden. With anxiety in particular, I've often thought that it's a good idea to hide it because in doing so you refuse to acknowledge it yourself. It doesn't gain the same power over you.

I guess that depends on how a person "hides" it. Everyone has a different thought process. I mean if you just try to suppress the physical elements of it, I'm not sure how successful you can be with it. On the other hand if you just sort of let the anxiety glide past you -- let it exist but don't let it get a foothold in your brain -- maybe you can.

I don't really know. I'm sort of thinking aloud and it will be interesting to hear what others say.
Posted 1/4/2010 4:13 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone! I guess its almost different for everyone.
Posted 1/4/2010 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
I firmly believe like KITT that ppl can hide their anxiety and depression.....how many ppl hv taken their lives because of this and the first thing relatives or friends say..is wow i NEVER even had an inkling she /he was depressed or had anxiety issues.....i myself wear the happy face to all around me even though i am crying on the inside ripped apart by these monsters....i hurt so much but refuse to let ppl know i am always down so like the song...TEARS OF A CLOWN.....prob before your time lol....something like this..If theres a smile upon my face its only there trying to fool the public.......cmon my kitt you hv to member that one...this is my opinion......lyn
Posted 1/4/2010 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
Debaser..if you continue to hide it then how do you really deal with it and get thru it..just wondering hun..i know its a loaded question n each hv their responses but i know i do stand by mine........huggles..lyn.......DOESNT mean i am right ..just my thoughts..great question......lyn
Posted 1/4/2010 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
I don't think I can hide it. I have to eventually tell people I have anxiety problems, because when I keep something hidden, I feel very stressed out. I hate secrets. LOL The more I hide it, the worse the symptoms become for me.
Posted 1/4/2010 9:44 PM (GMT 0)
That is very true hun i see that in my daughter cait......when she tries to hide the fact that her lazy gfn boyfriend is pressuring her and she is in high angst mode i can always tell...its just something that she cannot hide imho..lyn
Posted 1/4/2010 10:37 PM (GMT 0)
So take a good look at my face. You'll see my smile looks out of place. If you look closer, it's easy to trace. The tracks of my tears.


So many people do not want to look close enough, but that is just my opinion smhair



Remember we have anxiety, it does not have us and we do not have to hide.



Hugs



Kitt
Posted 1/4/2010 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
Lyn, I think you mean something different when you say "hide" as opposed to how I mean it. And I probably didn't choose my words very well.

I don't hide it to my family and friends or from myself. I don't talk a lot about it because in their own way they've told me they were tired of hearing about it (and I never talked about it that much). Still, I do not hide it from them. I make no effort to disguise it on a personal level. On a professional level I have to hide it. I can only show strength. Whether that's good or bad I don't know, but when I'm "hiding" it from clients and colleagues I literally feel better.

But it's not a mask that I use. Only rarely do I have to suppress anything, and when I do have to it's not for long. Instead while I'm in the car or in a lobby in between meetings I sort of let the anxiety "glide" by. I'm not sure how to describe it. But I do recognize it. Don't get angry about it. Just kind of accept it, breathe deeply, and move along. It is a lot like stepping outside of myself.

Of course there are times when I'm caught and I have to suppress things, and that does seem to make things worse in the short run. I imagine it would in the long run, too. I hope I didn't give the wrong impression but it looks like I did. I wouldn't ever recommend hiding any kind of emotional disorder from those who can help, whether it's a medical professional, family, or friends.
Posted 1/4/2010 11:06 PM (GMT 0)
I looked up the song!! :) Thats very true!!! I think that seriously some people can hide and some can not! The people who do hide it will eventually tell someone. It may not end the way people want it to but once it happens people know. So basically I think that its almost as if the people who begin holding it in is not as bad but then eventually if they do not get help it turns out much worse.
Posted 1/5/2010 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
Debaser my friend..i too had to hide it professionally for many many yrs in the field i was in,,when a patient died my professional side was always there along with compassion for the loved ones..i meant no disrespect to you at all..many ppl that work in professional capacity do have to keep it to selves...hmm kinda makes ya wonder just how many silent sufferers there are out there..amd that saddens me as this is not something to be going on...I wish you all the best..huggles..lyn
Posted 1/7/2010 1:57 AM (GMT 0)
shakehead  i hide it very well , been told too many times " just get over it " you are no fun anymore , whats wrong with you ect. so i put on my "clown face " i am old enough to remember , lol and all is good ......
Posted 1/7/2010 3:05 AM (GMT 0)
Lyn,

I didn't think you were disrespecting me.

It's sad to have to hide anything ever, but I don't think that the stigma is ever really going to go away. So lots of people are probably hiding lots of things.
Posted 1/7/2010 3:09 AM (GMT 0)
OMG...nothing gets me more irate than when ppl tell depressed anxious ..ect..ppl ...TO GET OVER IT..its just not that simple is it..yes there are many coping strategies out there and medications as well but at some point or another i still will break just like a popsicle stick......able to share our successes as well as our issues.. sit n cry big alligator tears and i have no clue why sometimes.....its just me..but we can make headway and do things to help ease this for ourselves.....i know coming here relating to others does me so much good n i feel as if finally there is ppl that do get it...sharing ways to cope is a really good thing imho as well...telling us how you got thru a day or even a few hours wéo being so panicked and anxious is a fantastic step i think as we all need to be heard and i also believe its so important to get the support and kudos for making it thru a day.....like Kitt said we have ap ....ap do not have us...acknowledge every step you take every hurdle you get over and be proud..set goals that helps me..i hv had a pretty good day even with anxity took tree down n cleaned the house laundry ect..taking alot of the load off cait my daughter as she really has been the pillar around here since my hospital stay and coming home..i am so blessed to have her and all she does as well as hw and the friends i hv here that makes it alot easier for me anyway..just my thoughts...huggles..lyn
Posted 1/7/2010 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
I am very aware that anxiety is a disorder that we have...like any other disease or ailment. But if you have it for so long, it becomes part of your life. It is part of me already and I have accepted it...and know I have to live with it for the rest of my life. It doesn't mean I have given up or given in to it. But it's part of who I am. I cannot ignore that.
Posted 1/7/2010 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
Well put melodee,


Accepting our disorders and then working to stay in the moment and deal with our issues as they arise is a good thing.



Kitt
Posted 1/8/2010 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
i have never ignored or been ashsmed of hving this ss it is me and i ams what i ams.....lyn
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