I splitted up with my ex yesterday and all i am thinking about
is.... the torture i am going to go through before i get over this.
In 2002 i went out with a lad for 4 1/2 years and we broke up, I suffered really bad and for the first time ever started having anxiety attacks. I didnt know what they were at the time but now i do. That breakup just ruined me and the anxiety attacks went on for a good ten months, waking up every morning like someone was sitting on my chest, that horrible feeling and getting extremly panicky.
last night we broke up after 2 1/2 years and now I have that sitting on chest feeling. I just cant go through this again. It was torture the last time and I do mad things like panic and start thinking all mad things, and that feeling ...like someone is sitting on chest, is the only way to describe it, I find i cant deal with it 
its torture.
I know everyone will say keep busy, but i was up with a friend last night and i started shaking all inside (like i was cold but I wasnt) it was a tremble that I couldnt control so i had to leave my friends house. Didnt get to sleep for ages last night but then i find myself texting him this morning just to get rid of the sitting on chest/anxiety. I dont know what to do, all i am thinking is that i dont want this pain.