Posted 4/13/2010 5:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Newbie
I am sorry to hear about your phobias affecting your life so much. It sounds like you're close to being agoraphobic. I know what you mean as to having to go to the one clinic that will treat you. It's the same here. My fave doctor left and it is not the same.
Are you on any meds? If not, I strongly recommend that you see the doctor about doing so. Tell the psychiatrist exactly what's going on with you and don't hold back. Also, I know how hard it is to swallow your fear and go out and do things, but you need to MAKE YOURSELF do it. The more you face the fear, the more likely it will be to get less intense. I say this because of what happened to me back in 1993. I was getting more and more anxious about facing ANYTHING. I was awake all night dreading getting up and going to town the next morning (we lived in the country). I got up and got dressed. I was in terror as I got into the car. I wanted to run back into the house, but I didn't. Dad started the car and we were on our way. I was extremely tense and anxy, but I gritted my teeth and rode. about half-way to town, I had a full-blown panic attack and wanted nothing more than to go home. My dad offered to turn the car around and take me back but I knew right then and there, quite instinctively, that if I went back home, I wouldn't be able to leave it again...that scared the mud out of me! So even though I was crying my eyes out, I said "No". We kept going. I made it thru the day even though I felt like I was in a trembly fog. My anxiety came in waves. It would come and retreat some, etc. I went thru anxiety like that for a long time, nearly a year. Sometimes it was worse than other times, but I knew that I had to keep on fighting. I'll tell you what though, when the doc got me on meds, it was a big help!!!!
You need to be honest with your family about how you're feeling and let them be supportive. They may not understand (and probably never will understand exactly) what you're going thru, but if you educate them, they'll be less critical hopefully.
Hang in there and keep up the good fight. And I know I say it like a mantra on here, but PLEASE look into getting the book by Dr. Claire Weekes called "Hope and Help For Your Nerves". If they don't have it at your library, you can probably find it cheap on ebay.
jl