can't do it anymore

I think i've finally gone as far as i can on my own :-( i honestly feel like i am right on the edge of something massive and that i'll just completely lose my mind.

Work is still terrible. Everyday i have to battle to make myself go, feeling sick, can't breathe, thoughts racing, head spinning. The whole time at work it feels like i'm dying, its like there's a pump going into my head that feeding all this mess into me, massive big thoughts that are too big and fast for my head, and some of them don't even make sense, they are just being crammed in.

I am irritable and guilty feeling all the time, i hate the way i look, i am jelous and hateful. I was told at work today that i have to do a 10 hour shift tomorrow and so i text my friend to cancel our plans for tonight saying i would be too tired to see him, especially after working so hard today and having to go in for 10 hours tomorrow. He is desperate to help me through this patch so he just kept saying "right well i'll come and see you then instead and we'll hang out at yours" even though i told him like 4 or 5 times not to come he just kept saying he was on his way. I couldn't controll how angry this made me - i felt SO sick, my thoughts were racing, i had a migrain, i felt like i was in a state of half awake and half asleep just because my friend was coming to visit.

Yesterday i had the day off and couldn't do anything - i tried to go to town to shop but had to have my mum come pick me up because i got so ill. Then i completely forgot (even now i don't really remember) what happened in the morning before - parts of my life are like dreams or i don't remember at all.

I have booked to see the doctor on monday but they are so terrible here, they just want to get you out as quick as i can. I just want them to help fix me and to get a proper diagnosis before it all eats me. I was like this before and they just said to me "go to the pub with your friend and take your mind off of things" and then eventually perscribed 3 therapy sessions which were useless and 2 prozacs a day and it took about 6 months to get even close to feeling well again. I can't do this anymore :-( it feels competely hopeless.

If you get to a dangerous point, then go to the ER. Let them help you, even if it's only a quick fix until you can see the doc on Monday. Or you can sign yourself intothe mental health unit if you feel the need. Just don't do anything you'll regret!
jl

Yes, that's right. See a doctor first. looks like you are facing anxiety. This is a real state of anxiety and it really makes life irritating.

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Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 6/28/2010 3:15:46 PM (GMT-6)

thank you all so much for your support, it helped me so much as it always does.

I got to see the doctor today and he was really great and listened (i think he could tell how shaken i was) - he has put me back on fluxotine (spelling?) and has asked me to come back tomorrow to see a different GP who used to be a psychologist so i can get some extra help. I feel like i can breathe a massive sigh of relife.

thank you all so much for your help, you have no idea how much it meant to me

great
keep us posted on how it goes tomorrow
tk care n kitt is spot on
you r part of this family
lyn

just wondering how you made out with other appointment
lyn

Box,
I found the following info at http://www.drugs.com/fluoxetine.html
It says that you should:

Call your doctor at once if you experience any of these serious side effects from using fluoxetine :
severe blistering, peeling, and red skin rash;
very stiff (rigid) muscles, high fever, sweating, fast or uneven heartbeats, tremors, overactive reflexes;
nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, loss of appetite, feeling unsteady, loss of coordination; or
headache, trouble concentrating, memory problems, weakness, confusion, hallucinations, fainting, seizure, shallow breathing or breathing that stops.

NOTICE that it mentions "headache" as one of the symptoms that you should let your doctor know about right away!!!
Remember, just because one med does wonders for one patient, it might not have the same effect on the other one. It's a trial and error type deal. You may need to be tried on something different. If you can't get any real help from this doctor, you should try to find another one that will really listen!!!
jl

Box,
I feel for you. I really do! I know all too well what it is like to feel so miserable mentally and physically! And for me personally, the extreme anxiety was worse than the deep depression! Neither was easy to cope with! But it made me all the more determined to get some good help. I've done a lot of reading and always am researching. I am fortunate in that I'm not the kind to get real scared over stuff I read about...some folks here have anxiety issues when they read possible meanings of health symptoms. They fear the worst! I hate it for them because the worst thing they can do is Google about what's bothering them! I, on the other hand, feel empowered by it. By googling, I found out about taurine and learned about Dr. Claire Weekes' books. I learned that antidepressants "poop out". Do you know that I was actually the one that suggested the possibility of that to my doctor when my anxiety started getting bad again?! I was on zoloft for 12 years and it didn't seem to occur to anyone that it might be time to change ADs!!! Sheesh! You have to be your own advocate sometimes!
Let us know what happens and take care. Don't suffer needlessly!
jl

Hi boxcastle,

Well, this sound slike General Anxiety disorder which I too sometimes get some attacks. This has become a more common illness in most of the Busy people today. The primary reason for this is Stress and busy life. All I can say is that this can be treated well if you decide to get well. Sounds weird?
Well, What I do to avoid these attacks is to first think positive and be involved in as many as activities you can, whenever I am alone, I am taken over and I am in hell.
Also, a sound advise from an anxiety expert will boost your betterment.
Hope you will be well soon.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 7/1/2010 11:59:38 AM (GMT-6)