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Wife having difficult time with my anxiety

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Posted 9/27/2010 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
My wife is having a very difficult time with my anxiety. Seeing me miserable is making her miserable. I need to fix this. cry
Posted 9/27/2010 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
Maybe you can give her a book on A/P so that she can understand your situation better. The self-help books often have a section in the back for supporters and loved ones. At least she is understanding about it, that is a burden off of you. My husband just the other day let it slip out that he believes that I could control my anxiety (and subsequent unhappiness re: it) if I really wanted to. Many people's attitudes re: anxiety are born of (don't mean this in a negative way) ignorance. Don't feel guilty about how this is affecting those around you. If you are doing everything that you can to get healthy, then they should understand and support you.
Good luck,
S.C.
Posted 9/27/2010 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
The one person who has been there for me all this time has finally cracked. She thinks I can just turn this off, like there is some sort of switch on my anxiety. I guess you know how that feels, though, eh?

I mean, she's right about how certain behaviors are overall destructive. But, she doesn't understand the part about how insidiously those behaviors / thoughts slip into your mind and become "natural". I don't think it's possible to have any sort of sympathy for someone with anxiety unless you've had to deal with it yourself.

I feel horrible.

Post Edited (trn450) : 9/26/2010 9:41:03 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/27/2010 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
trn450
I can empathize with you. My hubby wants to know " How come you were fine yesterday and not today ?" Or other comments such as " You have to get ahold of yourself ", "Your making yourself sick" I know he has been through a lot dealing with my mental health issues. But so have I ! Like most people, because he cannot see anything wrong with me, like a broken leg, he just does not understand how painful anxiety and depression can be.

I am here for you.

Kitt
Posted 9/27/2010 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
Some good points have already been raised. I like the idea of educating our loved ones. I was given the book "Anxiety for Idiots" by a family member several months ago. I read it and then gave it back for her to read. Afterwards she said, "wow - I didn't realize how many of the things you've been doing are part of the anxiety". My family has also seen a counselor through a free county program for caregivers and family members. That's been a great outlet for them to explore their frustrations and concerns.

I would also remind you that although those without anxiety cannot truly appreciate it in all its complexity they do care and want to see us get better. My friend got really frustrated with me because I couldn't "just start thinking more positively". But when we really talked about it she said she was frustrated knowing that I'm hurting, loving me, and wanting to help but feeling helpless to do so. Sometimes our loved ones need to express their emotions about how hard it is for them to see us struggle (and all the moreso if they don't fully understand anxiety).
Posted 9/28/2010 1:18 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the input! My wife has settled a bit, and apologized for being insensitive. But, I know it's wearing on her nonetheless. The fact that I'm having a negative impact on her life is just one more reason for me to work hard! :-)
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