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Anxiety and problems dealing with people

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 10/6/2010 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, I'm kind of new here. I have always had problems dealing with people. Introducing myself to someone new is extremely difficult, though I can talk easily after they introduce themselves. Telling someone I seem to only be able to tell I have problems when it becomes so dire I have no other option. This tends to lead to a lot of avoidance and self-hatred. Usually I can cover this around people who know me by being very talkative and pretending like I'm optimistic.

Now comes the fun part. I moved to a foreign country because I could not find a job in the states and my girlfriend who was teaching over there suggested I come over. It's been a little over one and a half years now. My job pays poverty levels, I am still very bad at the language and I have had to rely on my GF too many times, which I didn't till her I needed help until I couldn't avoid it and then with a cold sweat.

Now she is fed up and is probably going to dump me; I deserve it, she has been so stressed because of me. If I want to go home it's going to be difficult and if I do would I even be able to find something? If I stay I really have nothing here anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to sleep and not wake up for a while.

Mostly I needed to vent. Sorry if I come off as whatever.
Posted 10/6/2010 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sugilite, were are you from originally? Is your gf going to dump you because your job pays too little? That's not your fault.She should be supportive and help you the best she can.Where did you move to?
Posted 10/6/2010 2:26 PM (GMT 0)
From America moved to Japan. No the problem is she has been super supportive for the last year and a half; she just hit her limit.
Posted 10/6/2010 3:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hi and welcome Sugilite! Though it may not feel like it now, moving across the world was a brave and adventurous thing to do. Many of us here would have never had, or taken the opportunity to do so. I admire your spirit! It must be difficult to try to learn a new language and custom, try to work and keep your relationship going, dealing with being homesick, etc... I can see why you would be anxious! Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure that you will be successful. I do think that a change is in order though. If you don't mind me saying so, it sounds like you could be headed for depression if things stay the way they are. I am sending good thoughts and encouragement your way-good luck in your decision-let us know how things are going, or just come back if you need another vent!
Best wishes,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/6/2010 3:54 PM (GMT 0)
Sugilite
If your girlfriend is "fed up with you and going to dump you" it is not your fault as you went to Japan at her suggestion. Some people have a hard time picking up a new language and I suspect learning Japanese is not easy. No beating yourself up, be strong and be proud of who you are.

My suggestion if you were my own child - come on home. At least here you will be with friends and in your own country. My hearts breaks for you being so far away and feeling so rejected right now.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt
Posted 10/6/2010 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, wow that was a big change with and I admire your courage I personally don't think that I could move so far away from home and my family.  I think that you should consider coming back home though, from what you wrote it sounds like you are starting to get depressed... about your girlfriend it is not your fault now have you talked to her? maybe you think she will dump you but in reality she is not thinking that. 

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