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First therapy apointment

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 10/18/2010 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
So I had my first therapy appt. last Wednesday and it went ok; just the initial history, etc. but I broke down and cried and it felt so good to do that!! I think I'm going to like her and she wants to see me once a week to start; she did say that I shouldn't be feeling this badly on the Zoloft if I've been on 100mg for 6 weeks now and suggested the possibility of increasing the dose or changing meds. Not sure what I want to do about the meds yet. She will work with my doctor on deciding what we want to do. After the appt. I had a really great afternoon with my girls and felt good, still feel good today.  

One thing that occurred to me after the session was I started thinking about the point when I broke down and cried.  It was at the point in telling her my history that I started talking about my oldest daughter having a seizure when she was 18months old. I was home alone with her and 8 weeks pregnant with my second; called 911 and had to go to the hospital; thought she was dying in my arms as her lips were turning blue.  Ended up being a febrile seizure and she has been fine ever since but I will never get that image of her poor little face and body out of my mind. Then when my second daughter was 3 1/2 weeks old, she spiked a fever and had to be admitted to the hospital for tests, spinal tap, etc. We were there for 4 days and I was alone with her most of the time.
My thoughts are that these incidents probably have something to do with my anxiety about being alone with my girls! I'm teary now typing about it.  Anyway, it makes sense to me that maybe I can deal with it and I have really enjoyed my time home alone with my girls over the last few days!

I'm also trying to realize a lot of my recent anxiety has been hormonal adjustments of my body....maybe thinking and rationalizing a bit will help me cope with my panic again and not let it get so out of control!

Just wanted to share; hope everyone is feeling well :-)

Ginger

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/18/2010 9:42:43 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/18/2010 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, good for you for making it through your first appointment. I am glad that you liked your therapist! Good job on recognizing that trigger episodes as well . My youngest had a febrile siezure once too-horribly scary!
I think that a lot of women, with the (awesome) responsiblity of raising children, have anxiety to some extent. Some of us may just be (geneically?) prone to panic as well. The important part is that you are getting help, and you can start to take control and feel better soon;)
Kep up the good work!
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/18/2010 3:46 PM (GMT 0)
Ginger,

I am thrilled to read that your first appointment went well and letting out the tears felt good.  I feel the same way and I don't feel weak or think less of myself for showing my true feelings so you are on the road to healing.

Our past is always lurking in our mind and we never know when it may pop up as things trigger the old thoughts.  I do believe you will learn how to funnel these thoughts in a useful way.

I admire you for taking steps to help yourself. 

Kindly,

Kitt

Posted 10/18/2010 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
That's great to hear that the first appointment went well. It's really important to find a therapist that you're comfortable with. It's sounds like those tears needed to come out. I often give myself some leeyway with my schedule on the days I have counseling. I know you just started but over time I've found that I really don't know how I'm going to feel afterwards. Sometimes after leaving my therapist's office I want to cry, sometimes I want to dance and am filled with joy and relief having gotten things out of my system, other times I want to scream realizing how angry I am about something or someone, and still other times I have a rush of realizations and light bulb moments. So I will often sit in the car before leaving and take notes about what we just discussed and points that were made that I don't want to quickly forget.

I hope things continue to go well in your future sessions. It's not always easy and some days will be tough, others will feel great - but stick with it because it is worth it. When you look back in a few months you might wish you had started sooner.
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