depression and anxiety affecting your relationship?

Does anyone have any advice as far as dealing with your hubby while in treatment?  I'm currently on Xanax and Lexapro and I have no sex drive or appetite, which to me is not a huge deal considering everything else i'm working on in therapy.  I feel bad for my hubby tho because I know I haven't been able to give him the attention i would like to give or used to give, but i'm so overwhelmed with my treatment, trying to focus on getting better as quickly as possible...which I know will not be quick at all.  He is understanding, but I don't want to create a rift between him and I and know he's getting slightly and understandably frustrated sexually and emotionally.  I feel bad because he didn't sign up for this, and when we first met I was so caught up in him that I didn't really feel the depression or anxiety but over the years (almost 5) it's been creeping back and that's why I decided to get treatment now before it got really bad like it used to be or worse. 

I feel like i'm making such good progress in therapy, but everything else seems to be falling out of place.  On the other hand, a close friend and I recently reconnected and are going through alot of the same things so she's been a Godsend... I know everything happens for a reason.  

I had a similar thought as far as keeping your husband involved. Let him know where you are and how your day is going. There will be some days when you may really just need to be alone. There may be others when you feel well and want to spend more time together. Find creative ways to involve him in your treatment that work for him (even if it's not always simply telling him about all that you're going through). For instance, you could watch an uplifting movie together and cuddle on the couch. The movie could help with depression and being held may help with panic, giving you a feeling of protection. If it helps for you to take a walk, bring him along once in awhile. Play a board game to help take your mind off of the anxious thoughts...

As far as the sexual side of things, I like Scaredy Cat's thought about not always being up for "the whole nine yards". Sometimes less is more. I don't know how long you've been married, but when was the last time you just passionately made out without going any further? Some couples just jump to the end without really building up to things. But that building up can be enjoyable too. It might be easier on you while at the same time help both of you to re-appreciate each other and some of the steps you may normally rush through. Just a thought....

Thank you all for your words of understanding and advice :) They helped alot! I think I got really lucky in a sick way last night.... Let me explain:

Last night he was chilling with a friend of ours and since this friend is on probation he has to have drug tests alot (looking for marijuana) so he is always looking for a similar legal alternative. Well he found something, not sure what it's called exactly and he's been smoking it here and there for a few weeks now. My hubby (as much as I hate to admit this) likes to partake in the occassional smoke, he's not on probation and never has had problems with the law so normally if the opportunity presents itself he'll indulge in the real thing.

Well last night he tried this alternative, and even though I was not pleased, I figured you know what he's a big boy he can make his own choices. Well about 10 minutes later, he realized just how messed up he was and had a panic attack. It was the first one he's ever had, and he was really messed up, so he had a real scare. He turned white as a ghost and his heart was racing, and he was convinced he was dying. I did my best to take care of him and tried to have him sit down and relax while i got him a glass of water and a cold clothe for his face (things i would do for myself when i was mid-attack) I talked him through it, and for the first time I looked in his eyes and saw what I can only describe as desperation. Once he came down (which felt like an eternity for me so I can only imagine for him) we talked about what he felt emotionally and physically. I explained to him that what he felt albeit self imposed, those terrible minutes of awful terror and physical distress, was something I've been going through for years...without any control over what triggers it to happen. We both agreed that maybe it was time he 'grew up' and decided he wasn't going to touch any mind altering substances again. He's always been a glass half empty type of person but after this experience he honestly thought he was dying, since then he's been pretty optimistic about things. Last night I expected it because the experience was still fresh, but this morning he seemed different too, like he had a whole new admiration and appreciation for life and the little things. I've always been able to see the love he has for me in his eyes, but now I see something more...it's like love, understanding, and hope... which is very reassuring for me.

So like I said in a sick way, this whole thing brought us closer as a couple and I really think it will help us grow in ways we wouldn't have been able to before.

I definately think you guys are right about the communication, and even though this has helped, I still think I'm going to let him be involved in my treatment, from reading the literature i find online and at the library to possibly participating in the homework assignments my therapist gives me.

While I hope nobody has to go through what my hubby went through, I definately hope everyone's signifigant other can somehow grasp even a glimpse of what it's like to live like this, and finds some common ground for better understanding and support. :) take care!