Urgent help with thoughts

cln777

Regular Member

Joined : Oct 2010

Posts : 417

Posted 12/9/2010 4:20 PM (GMT 0)

hello everybody...I really need help today..I can't concentrate in anything ..but these ugly thoughts of being sick...I want to feel better I realy do but it seems that every time that I try something new comes up. I say to myself this is just anxiety but..then I hear of other illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar and i just think that I might have those...Then this week also this thoughts that I had never have before of ...not wanting to be here anymore and then I snapped and say i have to get out this destructive thinking...what can I do? its really disrupting my life to the point that I want to cry because I want to behealthy ..I want to continue my life that way it was with my dreams and wverything... not stop before it begins....Im 29 years old i am married and about to finish my bachelors..there's no reason for me to feel like this! Last month was really good felt like no depression and no anxiety and felt like me! it was great but ..this second month has started different..I am currently on effexor Xr 75 mg for two months now..it has helped me because i do not feelt the physical symptoms of anxiety ..just the emotional ones and well i don't cry for no reason but now its worse because i cant find a reason to continue!

percycat

Veteran Member

Joined : Jul 2005

Posts : 1952

Posted 12/9/2010 5:26 PM (GMT 0)

Hi!

I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I understand the frustration and, well, I guess, sense of defeat you feel because you want to be healthy but it seems like every time you take one step forward, it's two steps back. It is so hard to keep going in the face of all that, and it definitely seems sometimes like there's no reason to try. And the grieving over what you feel you've lost hurts so much, too.

I have bad health anxiety, and I know that studying diseases on the web - maybe you've done that too? - hasn't really helped. Good for you for feeling that "snap out of it" sense. I don't know how to capitalize on that very well, but if you recognize that you can have that feeling, I think that makes it less likely you have a disease whose symptoms involve NOT knowing that you've got a problem (like schizophrenia).

Have you seen your doctor recently? You might want to ask him/her about your medication, and maybe about those conditions you fear.

Hang in there. I'm sure others will be along soon too. You're not alone.

percycat

Scaredy Cat

Elite Member

Joined : Sep 2006

Posts : 28868

Posted 12/9/2010 5:36 PM (GMT 0)

Hi cln, I am sorry that you are going through a rough patch right now. Remember though, that it is temporary. Anxiety ebbs and flows, you had a good break from it last month, and you will feel better like that again I promise!
As you progress with your recovery, the good periods will increase and last longer, with the setbacks getting less noticeable. I am sorry, but I can't remember, are you currently in therapy? If not, it would sure help with the destructive thinking that you mentioned in your post. Actually, even recognizing that is one of the first steps in fixing it! I'm sure that you have seen the MoodGym website praised aroung the boards here, give it a try! Or better yet, get a referral from your dr. for a therapist who offers CBT. Even if you've done it before, maybe with the added pressure of getting your degree, working, ect. you need a 'booster' course. (I went through it twice, and it was the second time aroung that really helped me)
I hope that you can also take some time to do something that makes you happy. It's okay to indulge in you, put some spark in your day (I bought myself a new pair of shoes yesterday;)) to kick the anxiety and depression in the booty! It can be exhausting battling this! Take care of yourself, eat well, rest, exercise, and do the little things that give you a lift. When you feel better, go after that anxiety with all of your tools-breathing/relaxation exercises, ect.
I hope that you are feeling better soon! Post back and let us know:)
Scaredy Cat

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