feeling horrible, hormones or what?

I was on lexapro for about 6 weeks but felt unstable on it. I didn't want to get out of bed or do anything for a month straight. I was depressed and so anxious I could hardly handle it.

I started feeling a lot better off lexapro. I was up in the morning, anxiety that was just so strong and constant was gone except when I left my house. Which I've been trying to do everyday either by myself or with my fiance.

Now I am on day two of my period and feel depressed and almost ocd like compulsions. I have such severe anxiety again and can hardly leave the house. I've been crying a lot and feel lonely as no one will visit me let alone do I really want to see anyone.

My sister suffers from the same thing and if I text her about my anxiety its like shes sick of me. Her response is always "go to the hospital then". I don't want to go to a hospital. I just want support. I am frustrated and the ocd compulsions are annoying and frighten me sometimes into an anxiety attack. I wasn't like this 3 months ago. I just want my life back.

My other sister is due to have her baby anyday now and wants me at the hospital with her but the hospital is so far. It's a half hour away and I can hardly handle a 15 minute ride in the car. I feel like I'm ruining the lives around me and maybe I should just go live in the psych ward. I'm pretty depressed about it.

I did manage to go to church today for an hour and a half. I almost made my fiance turn around at the end of the block but went.

I feel like I hit rock bottom and then hit rock bottom over and over. Im so sick of suffering.

Please help. I just need some support.

Twiggygal

Post Edited (Twiggygal) : 1/16/2011 7:51:13 PM (GMT-7)

I see my shrink every week but every week is different. One week I'm going through withdrawals of lexapro, one week I'm feeling good, and now I see my shrink (who's also my therapist) on tuesday to tell him how I'm feeling again.

I'm scared that I have some other mental illness because I feel these intense almsot OCD like compulsions. They are frustrating. I would post what they feel like but it's against forum rules. I guess I will tell my shrink about it but my biggest fear is having a mental illness like schizophrenia.

I pray to god everyday to make me better and I keep getting trapped farther and farther down into this hellhole.


I went to church and thought it would help but it didn't really. Took my mind off the anxiety but that's about it.

How've you been otherwise? Sorry to hear about all your hormone issues too!

TG~

I know it feels that way, but you're not. Remember that you are making progress. You went to the store by yourself just a while ago-something you thought you couldn't do, but you did it!

Sometimes it is one step forwards, two back, but that doesn't mean that the one forward didn't count. It doesn't mean that you stop taking steps. You just have to keep trying to find the key that unlocks your recovery.

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Keep posting:)
S.C.