Good moments vs Bad moments, Anxiety self vs Normal self

During those 'good moments' (no anxiety), do you sometimes feel like you're a different person?

You have control over most of your thoughts and feelings, and are even able to give 'anxiety advice' to those in need. You're able to laugh at funny things, and enjoy the good things in life. You feel so positive, it's almost unreal.

However during those 'bad moments', you think to yourself "I'm being the same old me again" or "It's back!!".  You feel every little pain on your body and it makes you feel even worse. Your vision gets blurry, your arms and legs numb and you might just stop breathing any minute. You feel like you're dying and don't have long to live, yet noone else seems to understand.

One day you're enjoying life, the next day you're dying, and then another day you're enjoying life again. It's a non-stop cycle.

Do you ever wonder which 'person' is the real you?

For me I tend to feel that my 'anxiety-self' is the real me, and my 'normal, happy self' is merely temporary.

What about you?

Pinks

Hi Pinks

Great question. For those off us that live with an anxiety disorder it is hard to work out what is going on at times and as S.C said it is a bit of a roller coaster with ups and downs. Anxiety works in mysterious ways and one day you could feel on top of the world and the next you will be heading back down that slippery slope in to the dark world of high anxiety or depression and it sucks.

It has taken me years to accept that I have an anxiety disorder and up until recently I used to just want to wake up and all the anxiety to be gone and for me to be a different person unfortunately it did not work that way for me. My anxiety condition is chronic and I will have it all my life. Once I accepted this it meant that I could learn to roll with the anxiety and take each day as it comes and through therapy work out ways of dealing with this process. I am still learning and still have my good days and my bad days.

Sorry went off on a bit of a tangent then hope that has answered your question take care Pinks.

Ben

Pinks,

Very interesting view and I do understand  what you mean. 

How you perceive your own thoughts, behaviors and functioning can help determine what's normal for you.

I am currently in a good recovery period right now.  My biggest issue?  The fear of the setback.  If something triggers some anxiety (like  my mind is always looking for something that will make me anxious), I automatically think "here we go".  I have fears of "getting anxious about being happy" because, when I am feeling normal, in the back of my mind I'm wondering when it's going to come crashing down.  The biggest driving force behind this for me is the fear that, if I do have a major setback, I won't be able to recover like I did the first time. 

What has helped me is learning to accept that the whole package of anxiety and good days is what is normal for me.

Kitt

Just my thoughts...rambling on

Gentle Hugs,