Good Morning to you. We all want to feel normal and even if we know better we still make poor choices so no beating yourself up. I cannot drink alcohol as I am on to many meds that react with alcohol. I used to miss being like the others in the crowd and wanted to have that margarita as the group kept telling me, " ahhhh, you can have just one". Well, no I can't so now I simply say I cannot drink with the meds I am on and order my diet coke.
I know we have all heard this over and over, alcohol is never recommended if a person suffers from panic attacks, since there is always the chance it will aggravate the situation and make you even more nervous or worried.
The depressing affect of the alcohol can cause a person to dwell on the unwanted problems that are triggering their attacks. As you have experienced first hand the panic attacks.
You really seem to know yourself and now try to set a goal to not go beyond what is reasonable for you. Everyone has different limits!
Remember, you can enjoy life as long as you respect your limits and stay within them!
My thoughts and support are with you,
Kindly,
Kitt