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Always trying to change myself!

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Posted 6/18/2011 9:13 PM (GMT 0)
And thinking to much. I guess it is a lack of self confidence and/or long period of many disappointments. When i do something i do how it should be and not how would i do it and it drives me mad. Usually at the and it gives the same resaults, and somethimes when i listen to myself and do it my way (very rare moments) i do it even better. Thinking instead of doing, and when you realise that you are absent minded, you are trying to fight and it can go even worse. Not able to relax and just to do it. (somethimes it happens but last only few secondes) Always identifying to yourself things you see, hear etc. Reading is the hardest to me, and i must learn a lot because of exams. And instead of learning, i even dont know how to anymore, i must fight with myself (so many bad thoughs, "what if"...)
Maybe it is all because of bad habits, i am pretty sure it is, but i forgot what is the good way of doing things. I dont know how to MENTALY relax and stop worring, trying to please others etc... That manifests at the assumption of what the life is... And when i try to change myself to be better and relaxed it only worse my symptoms.
If anyone have some advice (practical advice) i will gladly hear it because i realy need help.

p.s. I read books like "Monk who sold his ferrari" and i think i know what is good for me but i dont have strenght to relax and live that way. One more word: My forehead is always streched, like i am angry or sad, and pains inside my head and on the top are more and more tensed when i work all day, because i feel so absent minded. My story goes in circle but i am so lost!
Posted 6/18/2011 10:48 PM (GMT 0)
Put up that mental stopsign. Stop, look and listen.

Try to live in the moment. This takes practice, but it can be done. Do an exercise. Take a pencil and a piece of paper. Sit down and write all the things down that are around you and going on in that moment. How you feel and what you are thinking. Do this periodically. You will get the hang of it, and eventually you wont need to write it down. You will just think it. It takes your mind off of other things bothering you for a few minutes. You need a distraction that takes your full attention. Read outloud if you can't concentrate.

Best wishes to you..

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/19/2011 3:03 AM (GMT 0)
good advice karen,I will have to try this too.
Posted 6/19/2011 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Rembrant! Do you practice relaxation/breathing exercises or meditation on a regular basis? It really can make a difference. Set up two times a day when you can devote at least 10 minutes to practice. Be consistent. Even if you are not feeling stressed at the moment, it will start to have a carry-over effect through out your day.

When you are feeling acutely stressed/distracted do some extra at those times as well, but the daily regimen is what will be the most helpful.

If you need some ideas, look into our Anxiety Resource Guide at the top of the main page, there are some great links to get you started.

Good luck, and keep posting here as well. We understand and are here to help and support:)

Take care,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 6/19/2011 1:29 PM (GMT 0)
I can relate. I have times when I cannot turn off my brain and I over think everything. When I find the magic bullet I will let you know. The only thing that helps me is just getting outside and shifting my focus. Doing something that does not require alot of thinking. I think alot of distress is caused by us thinking things always have to be our way. Trying to be more flexible may be the answer here.

Gem
Posted 6/19/2011 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
These are all good advices, i will post the resaults in one week. In a meantime i will post if i feel the need. This site realy helps me beacuse i can ask stupid questions and can say things that are bothering me and i immediately feel a little better.
One thing i sometimes can do is to "feel outside" of me, to say to myself "That is not me, it is just happening to me, it is happening outside of me". Because whatever i do, i am anxious and take it very personaly, but when i think in a way: this is happening to me, i just live, smell, see, listen... But i can do it only when i work all day and when i am tired of thinking. I will try these advices, I must find a way to do it whenever i want, especially in the morning or when i am learning.
Thank you!
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