Feeling defeated.

Hello everyone.

   I suffer with anxiety (phobia of driving, and then all around anxious tendencies.) It doesn't completely consume my life, thankfully, but recently it has. When I had my first panic attack, I was driving and had gotten dissociated. Ever since then, I have only gotten anxious about becoming dissociated... I'm sure most of you know how I feel.

   about two weeks ago, one of my worst fears happened - I got dissociated. I should have known, I pushed myself way to hard although about a month before that I felt fine in most, if not all situations! Now here is where my "subject" comes in, I feel defeated. Ever since that incident, I have gone back to my usual anxious self and am nervous to really go anywhere outside of my house (no fear of dying - fear of getting dissociated!)

   Just want to know how many of you have felt defeated before and how you overcame it. I still go places, but never without my anxiety fully leaving my mind. That little voice needs to go away like it did before... I just need words of inspiration right now, and lots of yoga :) .

   True happiness to you all.

You'd be surprised to hear what kind of symptoms I've dealt with for the past 15 years or so. lol I was hospitalized then housebound for many years. My panic attacks were occuring almost every hour in the midst of severe PAD. It was pure hell for me. Yes, I felt defeated many times. It was completely taking control of my life and I hated it for that! It destroyed my life really. Lost my job, my friends, and hope. In between I had to become a caregiver for a family member. It took years of therapy and training to get where I am now. But I've gained a lot from this experience....and am proud for the accomplishments! I still have anxiety daily and panic attacks in between...but it's part of my life, so I think when I learned to accept it like any other ailment, things became much easier for me. When you see it as an enemy intruding your life, you will continue to feel defeated. I am aware that anxiety or panic will be with me the rest of my life...no matter how much I want to run away from it. I stopped running away. Instead, I confront it. Learn to deal with it. Acceptance is the key.

I could almost cry from all the support - of joy! Not dissociated or anything (why not make a joke about my anxiety?)

I see a therapist, at first once a week, then once every two and so on, now I call whenever I feel discouraged. Stkitt - you are right! I do have anticipatory anxiety! I can feel it lessen and lessen, and even today was a great day. I wanted to stay home but I didn't! I went out into the world and what do you know? The sun came out. It turned out being one of the most beautiful days! Hopefully my neuro-transmitters are taking a hint to GET OUT MORE!! Haha.

Thank you all so much, I wish I could hug each and every one of you!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, makes me feel like it's normal to feel crazy (if that isn't an oxymoron, I don't know what is.) But I guess the old quote is right, we're all crazy in some way. Melodee, I can agree with you that I would not take my anxiety back. It has taught me SO MUCH about myself that I never knew - I don't take my calm self for granted anymore.

I'm always here to talk to whoever needs help, even though there are tens of thousands on here everyday.

Hope you all have a beautiful, calm and relaxing week (or at least try!)

x

Thanks Gem :)

I slowly, but surely, am. I'm glad you saved yourself - take more courage and strength than most people ever deal with.