Depression or something simmilar, please talk to me.

Ok, i posted here 2-3 weeks ago, felt wery anxious, and sometimes paniced. After i went to chiropractor who fixed my atlas (chiropractors say that some mind states, anxiety and symptoms of anxiety can be cause of bad proposture of spine) i began to feel lightheaded and empyness in my beck neck but my concentration was better. Now when i think of it my concentration was better but i was wery anxious, like ready to fight all the time. I ignored everything tring to do and not to think but i was just suppressing the problems. Then one night i just began to have those toughts.
I was with my father in village near the town he was born, and all that happend to me, was good, he and my family was so nice to me, but when i go to bed at night that strange feeling come.
Is that called depression i dont know but i came to conclusion that we are all gonna die some day and i will to (that is not the bad part) but i realy feel that everything is pointless, because we are gonna wenish some day. That was the beggining, more and more stupid conclusions one after another and that strange feeling that i am already lost it . I am scared because i beleve in them. I fear that i can go mad and lose my mind because i cannt do anything right, everything i built (selfconfidance, relaxation etc) is gone. I am not sure in anything anymore. I am scared of dieing and scared for my mother if something happens to me, i am scared for many things and in the same time it is very pointless. The worst thing is regret, why i let this happen to me, i am dissapointed in many things, so many stupid thing and bad feeling i cannot describe them all. I lost faith in myself, and what if i can never clear those things from my head? When i am on computer i sometimes can forget things.(i know i am addicted to computer)

I dont know if there is advice that you can give me but i had to wrote this. First thing in the monday morning i will call psichologist but i am affraid that he will tell me to come in a week or two because he have other patients on schedule. I just want to be normal, i dont want do become psichological statistic and to fight with it all my life while other people enjoy this short life. And to be muself again, if i was ever normal.

Rembrant,

I would definitely see a therapist or psychiatrist. As, they are very experienced with what you are struggling with. Have you gone to one in the past? As you had mentioned your going to call but they probably can't see you for a week or 2. So I was just wondering if this would be your first time seeing a professional?

I was recently diagnosed with: Bipolar 2, Borderline, Manic-Depressive, Extreme Anxiety/Panic Disorder, Ptsd. I see a psychiatrist weekly and she really helps me.

Good luck to you.
Your Healingwell Friend,
Serenitee

R,

I am sorry to read you are feeling down but remember you will make it back up to the light if you just believe in yourself.

Personally, I believe I'm here to experience what life is about, the good and bad, and to learn from that experience.

I now believe I have a large part to play in the future, but I don't know what that is.

I don't think we're necessarily supposed to know.

I believe there is a higher power, life is eternal, and things will eventually work out fine. If you are able, exercise as much as you can. It is a natural anti-depressant and anxiety reliever.

Do follow up with the therapist.

I wish you well,

Kitt

 

jcd,Serenitee i dont think i am bipolar, i was to psychiatrist 2 years ago and went to hear 6 months, after half therapy of zoloft she sad i am ok and she is maybe the best in that hospital, i was realy better. And i she sad i should see psichologist sometimes just in case but i diddnt go because he is retired. I didnt realy fixed my anxiety to the end, i have social fobia, i feel guilt, and my concetration is not good but it was not so bad. My porblems began when i got sick, usual virus, high temperature and sinus problem. I was mentaly weak and was going throu some hard times so i began to introspecting my self. I spited blood from my sinuses, so i got realy scared, it was in the midlle of the night. Later, doctor sad it happens and that i am ok. But tension in head and neck was there all the time. After i healed i went to my old psychiatrist a couple of times and she sad i am not for medics, just need to see psichologist to change my way of life and my habbits etc. So i went maybe 2-3 times and my tension was not better, and i went to chiropractor, now when i think of it, it was realy stressful and scary to me even he helped me. I again scared 2-3 times very bad and from that moment i feel like that i wrote in the begging of this post. If i need to describe that feeling, i would tell that i feel like a baby that just came out of stomac.

Scaredy Cat I will call tomorow morning and i think she will have time for me because it is emergency to me, i will tell her how i feel. That feeling comes when i sit alone, or in the evening before sleeping, also sometimes when i work something i just feel scared. This thing you told me realy made my day better "as anxiety and depression are very treatable!"
Sometimes i think i am not grateful for what i have, i have almoust all what people need but i dont have some things that i realy want. I am not successful enough even if i have talent and skill, i think social fobia is responsible for that. I am not accepted in society how i want it to be, i dont have a girl, (last girl i had was realy beutifull and handsome but was realy bad for me) and i dont have true friends that only superficial friendships. I know a realy lot of people and i try to be nice to all of them. All the things i know i can (achieve), and my intellect, rationality tell me i can, but something just dont let me. Is it fear i dong know.

stkitt You always have nice thing to say, thank you. Faith in self is what we all need.

Only one question this time, when i start to read or to think something my top of the head become tensed, can anxiety be cause of that?
It realy helps me just to write down what is bothering me. Thank you for this forum.

Post Edited (Rembrant) : 7/17/2011 4:48:20 AM (GMT-6)