anxiety over parenting issues

 

Hello,

anyone struggle with anxiety over parenting issues?  I have a 13 year old and he is bipolar and on the autism spectrum. He is very high functioning.  He doesn't have a lot of friends and just now finding activities that he likes.  One is using an air soft gun.  My husband bought him one so he could use it at one of those places where people break up into teams.  My issue is I keep asking for clear rules from my husband and he will say we'll talk about it when Ben is asleep.  Well, it never gets talked about.  I want him to have fun but also want him to use the gun in the back yard toward the woods where we originally decided.  He keeps putting targets around the yard and I don't want to freak out the neighbors.  The anxiety increases because he is hard to reason with.  I don't want to be one of those parents that just lets him do whatever he wants. 

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

thanks,

cookie

Hi 2CC...My anxiety issues actually manifested after we were having trouble with our oldest...discipline issues, and tension between she and my husband, ect., so I know exactly how it feels:(

I agree with Kitt that you should go ahead and take the matter into your hands, with your rules in place. I would guess that you are the one at home most of the time dealing with the situation, so that is fair and makes sense.

I would also talk to your husband and ask him to be united with you in the rules and expectations so that you show consistency to your kids.

Try not to internalize the difficulties...family dynamics are hard. Sometimes you can't change the situation, but you can control your reaction to it. Take time to relax and do your breathing exercises and coping mechanisms when frustration hits:)

I hope that you get this worked out soon, and remember that you are doing a great job at the toughest job in the world!

Take care,
S.C.

I know what you mean in your last statement! Things that are usually effortless, or at least managable become feats of almost impossible proportions when you are also trying to deal with your anxiety!

Well good job for confronting the issue, and continuing to love your child through teaching and raising him with loving boundaries! I see so many parents who are afraid, or just give up when it comes to discipline.(I am a teacher) One of the greatets ways that you can gift your child is to help him/her to grow up to be a responsible, likeable adult!:)

Keep up the good work.

S.C.