cant stop crying

when my son joined marines, after 3 months friends interviened and had me go to therapy. It helped me very much. I was suffering from seperation anxiety.  I have been ok with other deployment but this one coming up is hard to take. he is confortable about going, he has secure job.  my husband traveled to his home for the weekend to help him get house in order. I have cried non stop since going to airport. I have cried when I am alone, since my son left after holidays. My son and I got some alone time, we talked of his friends, PTSD, being scared, doing the smart thing, things he saw and experienced.   Last time he left I got to talk to all the guys that would work with him, I will miss that this time. Last time my son asked me to say final words to the guys on the bus, looking at them and telling them one last life lesson was special for me, and they followed it as I learned later.  I told my husband I am not doing well this time, and to let me know if I seem to wallow an unresonable amount of time.  I actually have had issues with this when his time was upped by 2 months, my youngest daughter thought I knew, and let it slip, the shock and not being prepared made me a complete basket case for 2 days.  I love my family and I love my country. I am thankful and proud that my kids are all doing what they each need to do to be complete, no regrets, they are a strong bunch. Even with that said, I still cry.  My kids have chosen to do things I would never do, but I respect and support their choices, they have to do what is right for them. On a funny side, one daughter is a real germ-a-phobic, terrified of ameobas  and she studies to be a micro biologist, go figure, but she is facing her fears and she needs to do it, just like my son needs to be in the service.  I had asked him not to join and he did not, 2 yrs later I told him I was wrong and  thanked him for the respect he showed me by honoring my request, but I was wrong, wrong, wrong.  He needed to do what was right for him. I am very lucky, he did forgive me, and understood why it was hard to let go, but we both had to.   Thanks for letting me vent.   

Welcome khard!

Amy put it very well, and I agree. You did all of the right things, but even so, moms are going to worry, and feel the pain of separation just the same.

You should certainly feel proud of your children, they sound awesome!

Come here and talk with us anytime that you need to get the feelings out in the open, and we will be here for you:)

Take care,
Scaredy Cat

I do appreciate the responses. My son is also a Marine, and going to Afganistan. 

 Tell your son thank you for service to our country.  It takes someone special to have what it takes to join.  The qualities they have still amaze me. 

I thought I was pretty much alone in my feelings, there is comfort in knowing I am not alone.  The other parents I know are not having any problems at all with kids serving.

My kids are pretty awesome.  To finish raising them alone thru the tough years,  I learned quickly I needed to develop fatherly qualities of saying less, learn short sayings and repeat them over and over and over again, but my mothering instincts require me to be protective and over parent.  

Thanks again for your kindness.

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"  Love that one. I will remind my son of this one. 

The last thing I said to my son and the bus load of Marines leaving for Iraq was 'Do the best you can with what you have where you are"  their houseing was a huge warehouse with cots lined up. he found plywood, built walls, and put a texas over the door of his 'tiny apartment'. short period of time, tiny apartments were all over the place.  They made me proud.  Afgan will be different.

You have helped me trememdously

Merry Christmas

l