Really good morning, rough afternoon

Hey guys, I just wanted to give a little update about my day.
I woke up feeling really good and though a little anxious about having to go out (chiropractic appointment + grocery shopping), I was also feeling very confident and actually sort of happy. Since I've been sick with a chest cold I haven't been out of the house even for a drive, so after being cooped up for so long it felt really good to get out.

I did extremely well at both my appointment and the store. Even though I was more nervous about going to the grocery store, I kept telling myself that the worst that's going to happen is that I'm going to get afraid. Through my experience, that really is all that happens when I get anxious. I just get really, really afraid, but it's the worst that's ever happened and I know it's the worst that ever will happen. No one enjoys being so terrified that it makes you shake and sob, but I know that's all that will happen to me.

So I was having a really great morning, feeling like things had really turned around for the better, and then at a drive-thru while waiting at the window, my car freaked out. Apparently a tube popped and it was a /very/ loud noise, and I don't know about any of you, but loud noises (even if not sudden like this was) always set me on edge. Steam or smoke started rising from under the hood and when I got out (my mom pulled it into the parking lot), there was just a whole mess of coolant on the ground.

It really freaked me out for a few minutes, thinking that no we were stranded in this parking lot, too far to get home, and I didn't know if anyone could come and get us or what was going to happen. I'm really glad that I wasn't alone, and that my mom wasn't alone either, but the idea of not being able to get home just really freaked me out for a little while. I managed to calm down a bit after we had popped the hood and realized it wasn't smoke, but it was steam and coolant had sprayed over everything.

I feel just so disappointed that I was having such a good morning and just /fun/ hanging out with my mom and running errands, and then something happens to ruin it all, you know? A running joke between my brother and I (he also has anxiety), is that God hates us and our family is cursed. It's not true at all, I know that whatever is out there loves us and we aren't cursed, but it does seem at times like this that no matter how hard I try and how good I'm doing, something is just going to mess it all up.
I'm trying to get back into a good mood and not let this ruin my day. I had wanted to go out shopping today, but after this I don't think that even if I still wanted to I'd be actually able to with the car out of order. It just really sucks, to be feeling good and then one thing happens and it just completely messes with you.

Just felt the need to tell you all about it, and see if things like this happen to anyone else? You get feeling really good and then something out of your control just throws a wrench into everything? How do you recover from that, just laugh or cry or ignore it? I'm trying to laugh about it, just because that's what helps me a lot, but I'm still a bit on edge now.

Anyhow, all my best. <3
--Em

Thanks Cat, I really appreciate your input!

It just feels like "normal" people don't get so worked up over things like this, but my mom told me that it really scared her, too. I guess it's more of the recovery issue than being nervous at the time, because I'm sure that even without anxiety my car going wonky would have still freaked me out.

I will definitely give shopping another try once I can, the holidays are just around the corner, after all! Last year I ended up buying everything online, but I think that this year it would be great to go out and actually browse a bit in the aisles.

Thanks =)
Em

That's a great shopping tip, Amy! I will definitely try and take that into account when I do get out and about for the holidays. Hopefully some stores around here will be having some holiday blowouts through the night. I think it is the fact that there are so many people and it's SO busy that really scares me about going out shopping this time of year.

But I trust that everything will be okay, and if nothing else I can leave if I really feel I have to.

Thanks again!
--Em