Andddddd another new week...!

Still haven't heard anything from anyone.  I can't say I'm terribly surprised. 

For the most part, I'm not having any major anxiety, but there's the underlying buzz... at least, that's how I see it.  I went to an ortho office yesterday to get a preliminary exam with a nurse practitioner on my spinal problems.  It was really just a matter of a few X-rays and a brief test to check reflexes and such.  I was given some new pain meds (which I haven't taken yet), but all in all... it was fairly uneventful. 

I've still got swelling all over the place.  I keep wondering if I'm seeing it around other joints, too, besides just upper arms and feet/ankles.  Then again... I know I'm looking for it, so I can't objectively determine if anything really looks any different than usual.  I haven't even really felt swollen, like with that sort of tight/tingly feeling, until today.  It's freaking me out a little.  I have to remember, though, that Cipro could still be causing some of these very long lasting effects.  And if there'd been any sort of organ failure or something, I'm sure someone would have called me by now, after the echo and all that bloodwork. 

I just want some answers.  I want to know what's going on with me. 

Thanks, Cat.

Yeah, I just called and left another message with their callback desk to see if they'd received the echo results yet, and report the continued swelling. My mind keeps wanting to go back to that 'what if' place, because I keep doing stupid things like looking up swelling (bad Risa!). Of course it's ambiguous, and I read things like 'usually not a cause for concern' to 'seek medical attention immediately!'

GAH. If something were really going wrong, it would have really gone wrong by now, right??

I did also come across something about anxiety causing swelling in various joints, and that it just becomes kind of a vicious cycle, because the swelling will give you MORE anxiety... thus more swelling. Though I haven't been consistently anxious over this on a conscious level, it IS always in the back of my mind, 100%. I've never forgotten for a second that I'm waiting on news about my health.

Thanks for the support. I really does help to hear things like 'everything is going to be fine'. I appreciate the words. When I can't think rationally, it's nice to hear from someone on the outside that can.

Lol. I know. You can never get a straight, concise answer when it comes to researching symptoms, because I think that any medical resource has to cover its own butt by posting disclaimers like "seek medical attention" and such just so that can't be blamed lest someone with a medical problem become complacent and not get any sort of treatment. It makes sense, but it also leaves one with uncertainty about whether or not it's truly reliable and realistic information.

And yeah, I have read that fibro can cause swelling, I just can't help but be skeptical for a few reasons... mostly, I don't really know the difference between edema that could be heart related versus any other type of joint swelling. The one time I had swollen feet was when I was on a road trip for like three days, living off of salty cheeseburgers and almost never getting a chance to elevate my legs. Lol. It went away after the trip.

To be honest... sometimes I'm even skeptical about fibro itself, and I mean no slight to those that may actually suffer from it... it DOES seem to me that I have a lot of pain sensitivity where a non-fibro person doesn't, but even my therapist says fibro is a 'catch-all', and therefore allows some complacency where tons of various symptoms are concerned. On the other hand, my regular doctor says it's definitely a real thing and there's more evidence for it all the time, and I do lean toward trusting her. She's very, very knowledgable and has proven this on numerous occasions. I know I feel a lot of the classic symptoms. I just hate all the conflicting information! I'm a knowledge seeker and lover, so I always try to get a thorough understanding of everything... but this is one issue where I have yet to find one way or another firmly established. I can only go off of my personal experiences, and it's leading me to believe that fibro does have some effects... I know I have tons of tenderpoints that are sore even to the lightest touch. That doesn't seem like something a normal person would have.

Regardless, I know stress is affecting my body. I'm a over a week late from my, uh... monthly friend. I took a home pregnancy test today just to be sure, and it was negative, as I expected. It's not the first time I've been very, very late... I've always been irregular and it seems like stress/anxiety are usually present around the same time.

And thanks, btw! Yeah, I was actually looking forward to the ortho thing. I've had chronic pain for as long as I can remember, so I've been excited about the opportunity to finally get something done about it. I'm in for a ton of X-rays and an MRI in the next couple of weeks, but... the anxiety around it isn't too bad. I guess because I've already known for a long time what's wrong with my back, so it's not like I'm going to learn anything terribly shocking. Lol

I have never had an MRI either. Hopefully someone with some experience with them will post soon.

I know that they are painless and non-invasive, which is good...but you are kind of enclosed iniside of it, and have to keep still, so that may set off any claustrophobic tendencies you may have. They also make a racket I think, so be ready for some noise.

Ask your technician for a full rundown of what to expect, so there are no suprises...and remember that you are taking preventive, pro-active steps in taking care of your back! This is completely voluntary, and you are in control (there's that word again, but this time it may help!) of the situation.

Compartmentalize for now and enjoy the rest of the day and evening with your husband (wink, Lol!)

Tomorrow will be fine, but leave it for tomorrow if you can!;) Have a nice dinner and some fun tonight and enjoy and stay in the present...speaking of presents, did you get anything for V-day? I got some flowers and chocolates...not bad for 17yrs of marriage!;p

S.C.

Oh, two at once! Sweet! Thank you, ladies.

Fortunately, I'm not usually very claustrophobic. I don't think anyone really LIKES enclosed spaces, per se, but I think I can manage that aspect of it. I guess it's more that irrational anxiety of, 'what if they see something really, really bad?' I've mostly got a grip on this, though, and I know I can do it. I've made it through everything else so far! And I know I've got my wingwomen--in uniform, of course. *Snicker*

I really just wish the doc would call me already. This swelling stuff is rattling my brain. I'm afraid to look up anything about how to tell the difference between edema and any other type of swelling for fear that I'll see something scary again.

Ah, well. Later for that, I guess. I'm sure I'll hear something at least this week sometime.


Oh, and no, I didn't really get anything. My husband and I are crazy about each other, but for some reason we've never really gone out of our way to celebrate V-Day. We'll probably just indulge in some good food this evening. I'm thinking Italian. I never eat bread or pasta, so it'll be a nice treat. :D  But we will ultimately do something nerdy like play video games together.  Lol

Lol. Yeah, I saw that and replied. I was like, "Oooh, bonus!"

I've lived in both! I go between CA and TX every few years, it seems. Heh. Texas, currently.

I hope you're both having a lovely V-Day. Though I'm sorry you're having a rough headache, Kitt. :( Migraine? I get those from time to time. I've never taken anything that helped... so I always just hide in a dark room and try to sleep it off. Hope you feel better soon!

Foxy,

Informational articles are perfectly fine and helpful;)

S.C.

Woot! Survived the MRI. Of course, still no word about any results, but I'm glad to have gone through with this.

And hey! For those that watch House... no tossing my cookies or bleeding from any orifices! I swear if the doctors never entered the room, all those patients would be fine...

Hey, that is a pretty interesting article. I did some more reading on fibro over the last day or so, and found that at this point, there's really no need for my previous skepticism. It's become much more widely studied and accepted, and yep... swelling is definitely attached as a fairly typical symptom. I even went to one of my favorite skeptic websites and found that even their general opinion is that fibro is definitely a real thing and there's a lot of evidence to show for it. It made me feel better.

Of course, I wanted to believe it all along, but my anxiety (hypervigilance, I'd say, specifically) leads me to question everything. It's a good thing and a bad thing at times.

Thanks, Foxy!

LOL. I like that sticker. My husband would appreciate it, too.

Hi, Kitt! I'm so glad to hear from you today. I'm very sorry you still have a headache. Do you have anything to take for that?

Yeah, I'm glad to have that kind of validation. I think, with some effort, that it'll help to begin alleviating a lot of the anxiety I have around various symptoms.

And the MRI was cake. It just took a long time, and I kept almost falling asleep. Lol.  The noise reminded me of a techno song.

Hi, Cat!

You know, your words made me think and I came to sort of a strange realization... almost revelation.

I actually hope that the results aren't good (or at least perfect), and here's why. I feel tons of pain all the time and my purpose of taking care of my back problems right now is to make that better. If nothing is wrong, then... well, for me that means that there's nothing that can be fixed and I have to just live with the pain. But if there's something there, it gives them something to repair and that means hope, yeah?

Well, then I thought about applying this same logic to the situation about my heart. If something is wrong... then it's not necessarily a terrible thing, since it gives me something to fix and once I do... I'll feel better and know that I've taken care of myself instead of living with pain and symptoms and just... all the wondering. Kinda makes me feel better about anything they could potentially tell me.

I guess this same thing can be applied to many things that we have to deal with.

Thanks for that. :]