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Morning panic attacks, Unable to eat Breakfast and IBS symptoms

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 2/29/2012 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Everyone,

I came across this site this morning and have read through many posts with great interest. It is so nice to find such a friendly, supportive group of people, who genuinely care about others.

I am 23 now, but have suffered from an inability to eat breakfast since I was about 7 (parents divorced, moved house, etc.), at which time I also started to dread the prospect of going to school. I would wake up early with a start and panic about the impending day. This intensified when I moved house to a different part of the country a few years later. I was not bullied at school, but this morningly panic ritual became ingrained in me all the way through my school, college, University, and now working, career.

Every morning, without fail, I will wake up with a start and panic, with a horrible feeling of dread and despair. I think my mind tries to find something to assimilate the feeling with, because I will either panic:
a) about wasting my life and that I haven't achieved anything,
b) about a country I have to visit for work or a meeting I have during the day
c) Death
d) Something else that is playing on my mind.
This extends to weekends and holiday. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go to bed but I will wake up with a start quite early, and the slightest noise around me will wake me up. I will not be able to go back to sleep. When working, or at school, the feeling would stay with me until I was/am distracted by something that takes my full attention. At weekends and during holidays, the feeling normally diminishes 3-4 hours after waking up, so by about 9 or 10am.

I do have a tendency to over-think things and have a phobia of being bored, so I always keep myself occupied. For instance, I cannot fall asleep without reading something, and will fall asleep whilst reading. However, I normally feel relatively relaxed when I go to bed (assuming I have a book).

Worrying has been a bane throughout my life; friends would happily sign up to school trips and holidays with friends, but the thought of doing so panicked me. I have forced myself to keep moving and going to different countries (even though I don't enjoy the experience) because I do not want to take the comfortable options and stay at home, because I know I will never leave if I do!

When I started University in Wales, my stomach developed a habit of growling really loudly at inappropriate times (i.e. in quiet lecture theatres!). This was originally probably linked to the fact that I cannot eat when I am stressed (which is whenever I leave the house), so I would easily go for days without eating. The result is that I missed most of my lectures. However, I would force myself to eat a banana before lectures, but the rumbling would still happen. I think this may be caused by:
a) Breathing patterns
b) Expectation that it will happen
c) Lack of food

I also suffer from IBS symptoms, such as frequent trips to the loo when I am nervous or stressed, and constantly worry that I am going to be caught short. If there is something major in my life, such as moving house or starting a new job, I can easily need the loo 10 - 15 times in one day. I also become very gassy. These symptoms can even present themselves when I am working from home, if I am working on a project that is making me uneasy. Ridiculous, I know!

The final problem is that whenever I am in a meeting or travelling, I will sweat under my arms a lot. I have to wear super antiperspirant and a t-shirt under my shirt to stop it showing. It's really uncomfortable though.

So in summary, my problems are:
a) Sleeping badly and waking up panicking.
b) Stomach growling (even after eating)
c) IBS symptoms when stressed or worried
d) when in meetings or travelling, I sweat a lot.

My ideal would be to simply wake up and feel happy and confident about the day ahead, feel comfortable about going into quiet meetings / lectures (I currently work in a profession I don't enjoy because it avoids quiet situations!), and to be able to book a holiday or visit to a friend's house without worrying myself into a frenzy.

The only remedy I have tried so far was going to a hypnotist for about 4 months in 2008, but that ended up costing me a lot of money I didn't have, and really didn't help much.

I am generally in good health, exercise regularly, don't take any meds, and have not had (touch wood) anything more than a cold for as long as I can remember. Although I did worry myself physically ill (including nosebleeds when I was doing my dissertation). I have a good appetite when I am not worried (for lunch and supper - never breakfast!) and probably internalise far too much; people who meet me think I am calm and confident.

Any help or advice. would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Posted 2/29/2012 2:32 PM (GMT 0)

I can certainly relate to the morning panic - I have been experiencing it for about three years now and for no apparent reason.  I've had anxiety/panic on and off most of my life but this morning thing is something relatively new - in the past,  the morning was my best time of day mentally - now it's just the opposite.  Someone told me (possibly my counselor) that the hormone Cortisol is more prevalent in the brain when awaking and too much of it can be the source of this waking with anxiety/panic.  Of course the person didn't offer any suggestion as to how to eliminate or lessen the Cortisol...maybe just the anti-anxiety meds help with that.  

Anyway yours could be that, or just the trauma you went through as a young child.  I too was terrified of going to school, but primarily if it rained because I was convinced my mother wouldn't "find" me through the rain.  It was only many years later (during my 20's)_that we discovered my brother, who had Downes Syndrome, was brought to a special "school" on what my mother described as the rainiest day she had ever seen.  When I asked my mother where they were taking Timmy, her answer was "to a special school."   He ended up living at the school and never returned home.  Back in the 50's when this happened, children like my brother were oftentimes put into special "schools" whereas if he had been born now, he probably would have lived at home and been integrated into society.  So it's always been a source of guilt for me....he was five years older and apparently starting to get somewhat violent with  me when I was 5 and he was 9 so the doctor made the decision (which in those days a parent wouldn't question) to send him to a school for Downes Syndrome children.   Years after he died (at age 17 of an apparent measles case which they never told my parents about until AFTER his death) there were articles of abuses at that shool and it almost killed my mother, thinking that possibly something other than measles may have contributed to my brother's death.  Anyway, I don't mean to sound so depressing but I think that traumatic things that happen to us as children can have a profound effect on us for the rest of our lives.  Those of us who are more prone to emotional issues might deal with these traumas by exhibiting anxiety and panic during our lives.  I really think that's why I have it - so now I just try to deal with it, but sometimes it's very difficult.

Posted 2/29/2012 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Autograph and welcome!

I am sorry to hear of the trouble that anxiety is causing you at the moment. Many of us here can relate to the things that you have posted! Sleeping problems, waking to anxiety and stomach issues are all common complaints that are shared here.

You mentioned hypnosis as one of the ways you have sought help. While it is effective with some, it does not always have the desired effect with others. What about looking into therapy? CBT in particular has been proven to be helpful in treating anxiety disorders. You could ask for a referral from your regular doctor, or look for a specialist on your own. Therapy will give you the tools that you need to work through your anxiety issues, and you will gain back your confidence as you go along! I had serious panic issues that I was able to conquer due to CBT.:)

Hopefully if you get your stress under better control, the IBS issues should improve as well. When I was having a lot of stomach problems, I found that breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation helped. We have links to instructional videos for both of these in our Resource Guide (main page 2rd post) Practicing these everyday should bring about improvement. (I also found probiotics to be helpful.)

Post with us anytime. Talking with those who understand really helps!

Looking forward to getting to know you better,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 2/29/2012 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome.

I used to have a huge problem with morning anxiety as I would lay in bed wondering how I would get through another anxiety filled day as well as deal with my depression.  The most important thing you can do to conquer early morning anxiety is to change how you perceive waking up.

 

Change the dead-end thoughts that create the anxiety.  Remember, physical symptoms by themselves are not anxiety.  Negative perceptions are what create and perpetuate the anxiety cycle. Choose to perceive waking up as a positive event.  Dead-end thoughts can be unlearned and replaced with healthier self-talk.  Like any new skill it will take practice and patient persistence on you behalf to make healtheir through automatic.

 

One thing I now avoid is laying in bed worrying - instead if I am awake and don't feel I can fall back to sleep I get up, always get dressed and tell myself that I will be OK.  Positive rituals are helpful because they get you fully involved in the present moment (instead of the future), by focusing on one task at one time.

 

Does this work all the time - no but I am 99% better then I was 5 years ago when this was a huge issue for me.  Don't give up !

 

Kindly,

Kitt

 

  .


Posted 2/29/2012 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
I am also new out here, and have a lot of anxiety and dread upon waking up and having to face another day. I am extremely sensitive to noise, but have been put on Seroquel for sleep, along with some Klonopin and Trileptal (a mood stabilizer). I feel "pretty good" upon waking up, but my thoughts will turn to dread of what I have to do that day. I think, as Kitt says, if you can find a route without medication such as CBT, that it is a good one.

In my case, I have been on medications for depression, anxiety, panic, insomnia, and other symptoms since I was 19 and I am 57 now. I have had some periods where I was on no medications, but the longest I was able to go without them was 2 years before the depression, anxiety, and dread took over because of my working environment. There are so many ways to tackle what you are speaking of, but definitely, it is important to address how your thoughts are taking over your mind (often called mind-chatter) and how they go in directions that scare you and also affect your bowels (I also have severe bowel problems).

Like Kitt, you just have to get up, and in my case, shower and shave, and get dressed and focus on things one minute at a time, without piling all of what you need to do on yourself since there is no way to do everything in the next minute.

I will stop here, but just want to say welcome and that I hope you can find some help and support out here. I think that this is a very fine service with lots of perspectives on so many conditions and ailments and situations. I send you my blessings as you live your life and I hope you will be able to use the CBT to control your thoughts and not let them control you and overwhelm you.
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