Afraid my meds will change me

Hello!

So glad I found this board. I actually started crying reading some of these posts, this is the first time I've reached out or read anything from others living with panic disorder.

I've had a very hard time recently. I moved to a big city, started a new job, and all of the sudden I'm having heart attacks and annurisms all day long!
"how was your weekend?" "fine! I only thought I had three fatal blood clots and completely forgot about my made up scar tissue build up disease!!!"

Anyway I go to therapy and meditation, I go to a massage therapist every other week and I started new meds.
10mg of Prozac/day and .5mg of clonazepam before bed if I'm afraid to sleep. Problem is I'm so afraid the pills will get rid of the bad things and the good things about me I spend half my day evaluating what's left of my personality!
Has anyone else dealt with this and come out on top? I don't want to go back to the constant terror that was life without pills but I certainly don't want to take this stuff forever.
Scares the crap out of me....then again, what doesn't scare the crap out of me? :)

Have you tried Passion Flower? I had panic disorder and various anxiety types during high school, and it helped a lot! Actually, I would say the biggest help was severely altering my diet to be super healthy, but the Passion Flower helped take me down when I felt super anxious and would feel a panic coming! Now I rarely need it at all, but it was a blessing early on. Kept me from having to take meds. It's actually a mild sedative, totally natural, look it up if youre interested. Just a thought...

Best wishes!

-Tracey