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want to leave the house.. but can't

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Posted 4/10/2012 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
help
Posted 4/10/2012 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hello bars. Many people here would like to try to be helpful to you. It would be easier if you would tell us some more about yourself, including why you cannot leave your house, what you are feeling when you try, whether you have sought help with the issues you are facing, etc. Best wishes, Medved
Posted 4/10/2012 9:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Medved.. lol ya know i had typed a long explaination.. and hit the wrong key and it all disappeared. That was frustrating to say the least.
Ok, I get into these moods, where so much negative stuff is going on in my head. I can't leave the house.. I don't want anyone to look at me. I feel bad about the way I look,, I feel bad about my relationships, which have been nothigh but strange.. ex-boyfriend.. paranoid,, neighbor paranoid.. both carry a gun. Both think the govenment is out to get them.. neighbor thinks I am not prepared for the coming food shortages. and "by God he isnt gonna feed me when I am without! "
boyfriend thinks neighbor is a narc,, neighbor thinks ex boyfriend is a narc.. lol Had to cut both of them out of my life.. cause they both kept me in a upset state of mind. Tho it bothers me not to have neighbors that i get along with. OR a boyfriend.. I live alone.. and have no idea how to meet anyone.. cause of this social uneasyness. People just freak me out. I wonder why.. years past I didnt have social anxiety.

I wonder if moving to the ozark mountains and being alone so much after the death of my husband has done something to my head.. or is it all the strange people i have meet here? liitle of both ...
My neighbor has really been an issue to deal with.. he gets drunk and shoots his gun in the middle of night.
He tells me I am to fat.. I should not see the ex.. he will ruin my reputation.. he lets his 400 pound pig run around in my yard.. his chickend eat my plants.. he has no respect for me or property line.
Unless he is mowing the grass.. then he knows right where the property line is.. ha.
he is such a hassle I just feel like a prisoner in my home.

Now on good days.. i can rise about all this mess and just go about my business and ignore him.

Insomnia, has been an issue,, and i have noticed when i have insomnia my anxiety goes into hyperdrive..
I feel overwhelmed and to much negative stuff going round and round in the old head.
Posted 4/10/2012 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hey bars. I would be tempted to make that 400 pound pig into a whole lot of bacon and ham steaks next time it runs around the yard! More seriously, though, are you stuck where you currently live or would moving be an option? Sure, moving might be a bit extreme -- but maybe you get away from the boyfriend and the neighbor and a place where it is hard to meet people, and then you start to feel better?

Sounds like there might be nothing wrong with YOU at all. Maybe you just need to be in a better place. Just a thought.

I wish you the best.
Posted 4/10/2012 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
hi WELL I own my home. So would have to sell it.. and we all know the housing market is down.. it is even worse here. Places have been on the market for several years. I had my house on the market for 6 months.. not one person came to look. : (
Posted 4/10/2012 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
I think it is a good start that you are reaching out here Bars. You do sound really isolated. My first thought is to try to limit your contact with your neighbors since they seem to be trying to instill fear in you and it sounds like you have plenty of that without their help. How about baby steps? Maybe make a promise to yourself to make a trip into town once a week. I know I feel isolated then I realize I am doing it to myself so I take steps to get out of that mindset- even if I am not comfortable I do it anyway. I would keep posting here and reading others posts too.
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