Had a bit of a "breakdown" yesterday.....

Hey guys! Just checking in. I had a pretty bad day yesterday, probably from a combination of the issues going on with my daughter at the moment, getting my "friend", which always sends my hormones into overdrive, and whatever else could bother me I guess. Just flashbacks of certain things I don't care to remember....

My daughter left early in the day to drop my grand-daughter off at her daddy's and then went to spend the rest of the weekend with her fiance. I had been feeling really "crappy" for a few days prior, and I guess I was holding it all together for her and the "baby". Once she left, I went about my day as usual, my fibro is flaring alot at the moment, probably from all the stress, went grocery shopping, which I had been putting off for as long as I could. When I got home, I totally blew up on my hubby about past issues (some of you know what they are), out of nowhere! We got into this HUGE argument, and then I was crying all over the place like a baby.

I feel a lot better today, even managed to go to the flea market this morning, but that didn't come without issues itself. It started getting pretty warm out, and there was a ton of people there, and I started getting that "weird" feeling, like I was there, but not really there, and getting a bit of the off-balance feeling when I was walking around. I managed to blow it off somehow, and that made me proud of myself because usually i'd tell my hubby that I wanted to leave. To top it off, all the walking I was doing was "killing" my lower back from the fibro, we were there for about two hours!

Came home with 3 more chicks too!   Don't even ask! LOL!

Anyway, has anyone else ever gotten this way because of their hormones? I mean I was fine until I got a "trigger" and starting thinking (obsessing actually) about what had happened a year and a half ago, and then totally lost it. I guess this is where the PTSD comes in and sets my OCD into high gear. It seemed like out of nowhere, I was flipping on my hubby, and I feel really bad about it.

Oh well, I just had to get that out. Thanks for listening to me vent....

((hugs)) Fox

 

Thank you so much SC! You really are a true friend!

It seems you're always there to give me the support I need, when I need it, and good advice on what to do about any situation that comes up. You help me realize my irrationality sometimes. I totally wish we lived closer, because it would be so comforting to have a friend that I could actually visit, and vent to, that actually KNOWS what I am going through and how I feel sometimes.

I know i've said this many times before, but you and Kitt always seem to be able to bring me back down to earth, and I want to thank you so much for just being here when I need a friend.

I love you gals!

((HUGS)) Fox

P.S.  One of the chicks I brought home today died already....

Fox,

I am so sorry you had a bad day and I can identify with you as I had a bad Saturday and Sunday was even worse. 

To be totally honest with you I have been in a bad place and literally fighting a severe anxiety and depression relapse since December 26th.  I have not posted it here in the forum as it always kicks in the tears and I really feel so dang sad already.   

Please give yourself permission to accept that this is just a set back and that you will make it through.  I have great faith in you, my friend, and know that I am right here for you. 

As I am way past dealing with any monthly hormone problems I have no good advice to share with you but I am glad you are finding comfort from others who do share this problem. 

As far as "blowing up" - yes I do have that problem.  My Pdoc and therapist have both told me that I am like a pressure cooker - I hang on and let off a little steam here and there but eventually I blow and that is when I feel angry and all the memories of past issues flood my brain.  I have a hubby that cringes and makes faces, take big sighs whenever I ask him if we can have talk as he always feels it will be negative and he just doesn't want to go there.  So I let the pressure build as I have nobody to talk it through with - yesterday was one of those days.  I tried to talk to him and he immediately started putting words into my mouth. 

Sorry, sweetie, I did not mean to make this about me but wanted you to know I have been where you are and in fact right now I am where you are so I understand.

Be brave and know life will get better again.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt 

Thank you all ladies! It really means alot to know I have friends to turn to in times like these.

Kitt, I'm sorry to hear that you are having a rough time right now also. I totally get it. If you EVER have anything on your mind, and don't feel comfortable posting about it on here, you have my email hun. You can email me any time, and I PROMISE to respond to you, and try and help you through it. You gals have been so great to me, and helped me through so many issues already. It would be my pleasure to return the favor.

That goes for ALL of you. My email is in my profile, and if you ever feel you need to discuss something in private, i'm here. I can try and help you the best I can.


On the bright side, i'm feeling better today. The morning anxiety is starting to fade some. Should be gone once my xanax kicks in. LOL! I seem to always go through mood swings, sometimes bad, when it's that time if the month. Perhaps I do need to bump up to 150 mgs of the Zoloft.......hmmmmm?

Again....Thank you all so much for your support! Know that I am here for each and every one of you also. Have a GREAT day!

(((((((HUGS))))))) Fox