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Phone anxiety

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Posted 9/5/2012 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hey peeps!

I wonder if I'm the only one suffering from what I consider 'phone phobia'. I have a great professional job which includes several phone calls throughout the day. I am terrified of the phone. I feel like I sound odd, scared what the person on the other end of the line thinks of me and most of all, what my boss thinks of me. He sits not too far from me and whenever I need to answer/make a call I cannot stop thinking what I sound like and what he thinks of me. I constantly think that I sound weird, don't know what I'm saying. It's usually quiet in the office so my boss can hear every word I say. With the constant thought of 'oh my god, he thinks I sound weird', my voice actually starts shaking, my mouth turns dry and i have a full blown panic attack. My immediate thought is that my boss is thinking to himself that he should hire someone else instead of me. I cannot afford to lose my job at this point! How can I be comftorable making phone calls in a super quiet office with my boss at my side? OMG, my stomach's turnin! Would love to hear your input!

Posted 9/5/2012 4:06 AM (GMT 0)
NO!!!!!!! When I was 18 my mom said something totally horrible to me on the phone. I'm now 38 and I still have phone phobia! Its a fear of rejection.
I'll always feel it and i get severe anxiety anytime i have to make a call.
Posted 9/5/2012 5:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hi chilledout,

Do you have this anxiety only when on the phone...or is it a part of a bigger social issue. In other words, do you have trouble speaking person to person, or in a group at work?

S.C.
Posted 9/5/2012 10:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi

Good to meet you. I can relate to this one as I to don't like using the phone, In my case this is down to me having Asperger's Syndrome I find it difficult to talk on the phone and don't no when to end conversations etc etc so avoid the phone as much as possible which does annoy friend's & family.

Hibee
Posted 9/5/2012 8:39 PM (GMT 0)
I can relate to this too. I avoid using the phone when other people are around. I have been making myself do it more and more recently and am finding that the more I do it the easier it gets. Though I still avoid it if I can!!!!

Would love to hear if anyone has any tips on working on this.

Posted 9/6/2012 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the replies. Scaredy cat, yes, it is part of a broader issue. I guess it stems from my social anxiety. I am terribly afraid of people which only makes sense that I'm scared of the phone as well.. I am so afraid of how others perceive me. Afraid of what they think about me, that they judge me. If I say so and so, it means that I'm dot dot dot. I feel so awkward when I speak to other people. I tend to blush a lot. It's a vicious cycle which I'd looove to get out of. HOW??

It's totally taking over my life. Will I ever feel normal again? I would love to be confident with who I am, regardless of what others think. I have tried telling myself over and over again that I am who I am, this is me and I am the best that I can possible be. But obviously I am not the best who I can be since this social anxiety is keeping me back from soo many things.

Posted 9/6/2012 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
Here ia a link for some books on social anxiety, and then a site with some free self-help resources.  I can also recommend therapy as an option, but if that is not possible, then these are good alternatives.:)

I hope that you can get the help that you would like to help you get over this trouble.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.htm

S.C.

Posted 9/7/2012 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sort of the opposite. i'm a social butterfly but in my own element. If I'm somewhere I don't know with people I don't know I'm the one in the corner co warding.

Let me ask you this. do you belong to any social groups, like meetup.com ? I know this may sound crazy, but organize an event at a place you love.
The reason i say this is, because people will come to YOU and say hello and will want to talk to you. i had a friend whom no one would ever talk to because he looked weird and was socially awkward. He followed my advice and it has helped him build the confidence and people actually talk to him now. He still sweats in fear and nerves but its helped.
Posted 9/7/2012 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry about the link causing the page to do this weird wide screen guys...IDK how to fix it...but you can go to your tools and shrink the page temporarily to 75% so that you can read, then change it back.

chilled out, if you could let me know when you are done with the link, I'll remove it

Thanks,

S.C.
Posted 9/7/2012 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Scaredy Cat!
Posted 9/7/2012 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hey dude idk if this will help or not cause im not an anxiety expert if i was i probably wouldnt have such bad anxiety but heres a though for your situation of feeling worried about how you sound and appear in your bosses or whoever it is your speaking to ear, tell yourself you sound great instead of possibly sounding bad turn it into a joke that usually helps me cope with my anxiety making a joke out of it talk with complete confidence and just act like your boss isnt there and the person on the other end of the phone is a good friend CONFIDENCE talk like its your world and no one has an opinion if it helps let me know
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