Posted 10/10/2012 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
AAHHHHHHH!!! I am so sick of this STUPID anxiety!!! So unbelievable frustrated with not being able to do anything without freaking out and then feeling guilty for not trying hard enough.
I had been trying so hard to get my butt in gear and start accomplishing some goals and just when I was starting to do good
1) my mom who is visiting still to supposedly take care of me (which I resent) Fell into a cactus and got stuck there! When I came out she was literally covered in blood and full of cactus spines. After holding it together and helping her I decided to try and calm down and make dinner, during which
2) The stove caught on fire! I got it out finally and it took hours to air the house out
and the next day
3)we had an attempted break-in at our house while we were all sleeping. After waking to the power being cut off, My roommate chased them off, and everyone was trying to calm down. But there I was laying in bed jittering, shaking and generally freaking out. It's hard enough to try to make it through the day just getting out of bed and talking a small walk around the block without having to be scared of this kind of stuff.
The really messed up thing is that I was more upset about having uncontrollable body shakes than I was about the break-in.
I'm just having a bad week and having a hard time staying upbeat. Does anyone have any good news in their lives or encouraging progress? Maybe we could post positive things here to remind myself and others of why we keep trying so hard.
My one bit of good news is that the night of the break-in I finally accomplished my goal from last week of walking up to the corner store by myself. It was very uncomfortable and I had to remind myself to keep breathing, but I did it. Now, I have to make myself do it every day!
So sorry for the rant, I'm feeling much better now. Please feel free to post achievements, progress and goals reached :)