severe anxiety and severe sleepwalking

about 2 weeks ago, I was evicted from my apartment, which only made my GAD and PTSTD a million times worse.  I was able to get some belongings out, but there was a lot lost.  My anxiety has shot through the roof as a result.  I am now staying at my mother's house, but I feel that she resents me being here.  And that hurts.  Usually we're close, but not now.

What's been most bothering my mother is the fact that I sleepwalk, particulary when really stressed and tired.  So, every night since I've been sleeping in my mother's house, I have slepwalk but have no memory of the events.  I just wake up in the morning and find misplaced items, and once, I woke up on the floor with my dog beside me.  I have absolutely no memory of getting out of the bed and coming to the kitchen.

When my dog barked at a deer he saw he in my backyard, he woke me up, and when I wake up from a sleep walking episode, I'm usually very scared and petrified.   I instantly got up and knew right away that I had slept walk yet again.  It was clear that I hadn't fallen, as I had no pain or bruising.  My dog's bed had been moved, as had other items in the kitchen and bathroom.  What really freaked me out though was the fact that I couldn't find my third dog, whom I love deeply.  I made a huge mistake of going to my Mom's room and asking her if I had brought him in there, and she got extremely mad at me. (At times, I have picked my spaniels up while sleep walking and taken them to another room.)

My mother then came down the steps and raised her voice loudy and screamed, "You must stop this now!"  She started crying as if she had been the one sleepwalking and I had committed a major crime.  It upsets me so bad that I have no power over the sleepwaling. 

My mother then sat in the cair in our den, and started bawling.  She repeatedly accused me of taking extra medication, which I had definitely not.  (I took half a Phenergan at 5 PM the night before (12.5 mg) because I had to leave work early due to severe and protracted vomiting. That is the only med I had taken all day. 

In fact, it seems like every time I've slept walk, she has become very mean to me.  She raises her voice, almost like she is screaming.  When she does this, I am still in this stage between sleep and wakefulness, but I definitely remember it.  And her behavior toward my sleepwalking is hurting me deeply. 

I have lived in an apartment for 20 years, and I slept walk there too.  But, I only told her about it.  Now that she's actually seeing it, it is different.  She accuses me of taking meds, but I'm sleep walking.  I told her these facts for years when I was in the apartment, and I am having to repeat the facts almost nightly when she hears me walking around in my sleep.  But she doesn't listen and instead starts raising her voice and yelling.  She claims that I raise my voice too, but I do not.  One time however, I did state firmly with a raised tone of voice that her accusations hurt me.

Last night, as my mother sat bawling in the chair after my sleepwalking epidsode, I felt like I was a criminal and an embarrassment to her.  She then began raising her vioce, claiming that the top to her chicken dish was missing.   You would have thought it was a huge diamond ring!  Then she accused me of misplacing her kindle, but the whole time, it was on her kitchen table.  It was exactly where she had left it.  Yet I feel like the scapegoat.

Also, when I sleepwalk and right after I wake up from it, my voice is  slurrend because the part of the brain that controls speech isn't fully awake yet, and plus, I'm unsteady because we are actually paralyzed when asleep to prevent us from acting out our dreams.  But my mother doesn't believe it. She just tells me over and over, "Look at your eyes...look at your balance...what did you take?"  I respond, "I took half a dose of Phenergan to stop the vomiting, and what you're seeing is my brain starting to wake up."  She tells me to lower my voice and not "scream", which is ironic because it's her doing that. 

Now, I'm honestly scared to go to bed tonight.  I don't want her yelling me at me again, and plus I'm really scared I will fall down my Mom's steep steps.   It's so scary to wake up to find items misplaced. 

I printed some information off the net about sleepwalking to show her, but I doubt she will read it.  At the beginning of every paragraph, it states that sleepwalking is worsened by stress.  No surprise there.

I just don't know what to do.  I never take the medicines she is acccusing me of taking.  Instead, when she sees me sleep walking or just coming out of it, she is seeing my brain starting to wake up.  For example, when we sleep, our eyes change, as do our pupils.  She was using this as another reason I have taken something.  It really hurts me.

I slept walk as a child, and it worsened when I was seriusly abused by a teacher. I am seeing a social worker now, but I'm going to move to a person that sees mostly abuse/rape cases. He reco

I take a benzo, but that isn't cutting the cake now.  "Usually it works miracles and prevents sleepwalking.  I am thinking about starting on a paralytic drug to prevent sleepwalking, and somehow, it paralyzes everything but the lungs and diaphram.  But, I've read it can be a scary drug if you wake up before it's worn off becasue you cant move your arms and legs. 

I just don't want to be fussed at anymore.  It's been extremely stressful losing my apartment, and at times, my mother acts as thought it was more stressful for her.

Do you any of you have any suggestions of what I can say to my mother when she blows up at me after a sleepwalking episode?  I'd appreciate your feedback because I don't know how much I can take.  It's awful to be scared to go to bed at night.  (Thankfully I have not driven yet while sleepwalking, but I put them in a very secure and hidden place.)

A couple of years ago, I put my bottle of milk in the washing machine!  Sometimes, it can be funny, but it's not fully now.

Also, I went to a sleep clinic a few years aback about the sleepwalking, and she attributed it to high anxiety and a genetic predisposition.  She really didn't have any  suggestions for me, other than trying to relax before bed.  When I'm worrying about how I'm going to go to the grocery store to get food for me and my mother, that is easier said that done.

Now my job is in jeopardy because my boss was called when I was in really bad shape after a bad night of sleepwaking.  I wass SO exhausted, and I started throwing up non-stop after I clocked in for about 45 minutes.  I didn't have my cell with me to call the floor, and my boss and supervisor were not too understading.  I could hardly keep my eyes open between the lack of sleep and the prolonged vomiting, and they required me to take a urine drug screen.  That hurt.  I don't use illegitimate drugs.  The doctor gave me Fioricet when I violently hit my head during my head, but I had taken that over 16 hours before I began my shift.  I never take any meds on the job, other than Motrin when my muscles and bones hurt.

I am sorry to write to write so much.  My mother's remarks to me last night really hurt me.  What is ironic is that I work one-on-one with patients, and I make it a point to never judge any one of them - even with the combative ones.  You can accomplish much more with understanding, education, and kindness.

So. any suggestions for me?   How do I deal with my mother when she blows up when I sleep walk?  I really don't know what to do.   It's honestly no different that blowing up at someone having a grand mal seizure and telling them to stop.

Last year at work, I had a patient in her 30s that fell asleep and then appeared to wake up about an hour later.  The nurses were baffled because her speach was garbled, and she was stumbling.  I explained to the nurses that she was probably sleepwalking. The patient went on to move the bottles of Pepsi and Ginger Ale as well as the cups across the room and on the floor, and she also moved the chairs in the common room.  I just made sure she was safe, and based on my personal experience, I knew she would go back to sleep when she exited the REM sleep.  Low and behold, about an hour later, I  told her, "It's time to get back in bed, okay?"  And she walked back and got in her bed.

If I have to stay with my mother for much longer, I'm going to have to take the med that paralyzes your muscles.  I've been sleepwalking for years, but this is the first time my mother has seen it.  And, what bothers me is she doesn't believe me when I explain it, nor does she believe the info I printed off from WebMD and the NIH site.

I'm sorry to wear your eyes out!!  This is just hurting SO bad, and I just need someone to be there.  I feel so alone, like I'm this bad awful monster.

Thank you for reading this.  I cried for hours last night after my mother blew up at me.  All of you are the best.  And I hope your anxiety is as under control as it can be.  Please know that I am always thinking of each and every one of you, even though I don't know you.  I know your screen names though, and I know that all of you are kind and loving.

THANK YOU, and BLESS YOU ALL