Carol57,I understand exactly what you mean when you feel that you are just overwhelmed by family members that just expect your attention as you have always been there to "do" for them.
When my family all lived at home ( 4 children, hubby and dog) I worked full time. I felt I was always overloading my plate and constantly running around trying to
balance all of my many responsibilities.
The best advice I can offer is to communicate with your family that you are stressing and they are going to need to take on responsibility for helping run your household as you are all part of the family. I learned a long time ago at a management class that the best thing you can do is to "articulate your expectations" with your family. If they don't get what you are talking about and go on their merry way, communicate with them again making it very clear that this is not negotiable and you need help.
Your family is capable of being assigned responsibilities and should they start out great and slough off, then back to communications with them.
I wish you the best and keep on being assertive. You deserve to feel happy.
Kindly,
Kitt