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Posted 7/7/2013 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
When I was happy, I didn't have this anxiety. I haven't been happy for 3 years since my husband quit working and started self employment, which means he's around the house a lit. When I was happier, I wasn't like this. I think my husband drives me crazy.
Posted 7/7/2013 8:13 PM (GMT 0)
Too much time with even the greatest person can be rather taxing. Do you stay at home?

Perhaps you could find some ways to get a little physical separation from him, to allow yourself some freedom to think and be yourself.

Maybe you can establish a personal area in or around the home? An art studio? A craft space? A workout area? A garden?

Or maybe you can find some things to do outside of the home on a regular basis? Play-dates with your kids? Time at the park? Volunteering for a charity? Jogging?
Posted 7/7/2013 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
Carol this may be a virus my wife says the same thing.

Larry
Posted 7/7/2013 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you berock for your ideas....Yes I have done all that....

It's worrying over money, lack of routine, a whole bunch of things. When he's busy I love him and when he's not busy I can't stand him. It's like my brain just can't handle this chaos...

And Larry, if my husband had the sense of humor you do I would at least laugh more!

I'll be ok.

Carol
Posted 7/7/2013 8:19 PM (GMT 0)
lol, Larry!
Posted 7/7/2013 8:23 PM (GMT 0)
Berock yes I stay home, live in the remote countryside, care for a garden and animals. I live a charmed life, but my husband moved in on it...and I'm sure that's why I'm the mess I am emotionally. You have no idea what he's like, and I would have to write a book...suffice it to say I knew when I married him he was gone 8 hours a day and would let me breath. How things change.
Posted 7/7/2013 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
To be honest I think I worry more for my16 year old.

Worry drives me crazy.
Posted 7/7/2013 11:21 PM (GMT 0)
You gotta be kidden Carol, I didnt sleep for 6 years while my Daughters were in highschool. LL

Larry ***
Posted 7/8/2013 12:05 AM (GMT 0)
I'm just saying it's not all my husband....He's got his good points.

I'm just venting today i guess. Sometimes people really annoy me. And I'm sure I annoy them also...My daughter's best friends mom bugs me ..She lets those two get away with a lot when they're with her. I am so glad I have a husband who cares enough to help me raise her.

I guess we're all human myself included, and we all need to vent. Holding it in isn't good.



Carol
Posted 7/8/2013 2:33 AM (GMT 0)
Like my mom says about marriage and retirement...

"I married him for life...but not for lunch."

I hope you feel better for getting some feelings out!

S.C.
Posted 7/8/2013 3:14 AM (GMT 0)
haha, S.C.! I love that statement!

And yes, Carol, we all need to vent sometimes. I can completely sympathize. Although we both work outside of the home, I sometimes have too much hubby time - even though I love him very much.

When I'm social, I'm very social. But, when I'm solitary, I'm very solitary. I got used to living alone and there are certain things I want to do with no one around. Some of our bigger fights have been about that.

For example, one perfectly quiet day, I was cleaning house. I cannot stand for someone to be sitting around while I clean. It's not that I want them to help - it's just that I feel like laziness is kinda clouding my energy. I just want to be alone to clean. Just give me the space and let me clean it. lol. Anyway, I eventually bubbled over and screamed, "Do you REALLY think I want to mop the living room while you sit in the recliner playing video games? REALLY? Can't you mow the *%$#^ GRASS or go drink a beer with the guys or go fishing or something?!?!?" haha!
We've found our groove, but it took a few years.

I imagine adjusting to your husband's career change is almost like adjusting to being married all over again!

I bet worrying about your daughter is very stressful!

My hubby and I tried for years to have kids. Right now, I wonder if it was a blessing in disguise. I can only imagine all of the things I'd obsess over if I had kids.

Vent all you want - we're here to listen.
Posted 7/8/2013 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
If my wife told me to go fishin or drink a beer it would make me paranoid as hell! Peace

Larry ***
Posted 7/8/2013 4:57 AM (GMT 0)
hahaha! I tell him that a LOT, Larry.
Posted 7/8/2013 8:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Carol and hello people!

I haven't posted in a while though have been reading posts every so often.

Carol's post on marriage issues just struck me and felt the need to chime in!

MARRIAGE is the hardest thing on earth!!! As I've informed you guys, my wife and I separated 2 months ago and I have been in a bit of a roller coaster ride since. Daily stress is definitely lower but I also get quite lonely. In all, still think this is a break we needed, permanent or not remains to be seen. Either way I have decided to NOT get stuck in the feel sorry for myself mode. I still love my wife deeply but we just are on 2 very different wavelengths.

With all the issues that can be brought up which caused our relationship to sour, the number 1 for me is the breakdown in communication. If we had a healthy way of communicating I think everything else would follow.


I do hope you are able to resolve your current issues with your husband!

I agree with BeRock, VENT and VENT all you want. It really does wonders when you are able to release pent up angst!

G.P.
Posted 7/8/2013 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks you are all awesome, I love the feedback! I think holding strong emotions in without a release is hard. It really helps to get support. I live in a village of 1000 and you can't tell anybody anything or it goes around like wildfire here and everybody looks at you funny at the store (we have 2 stores) small town USA where you maybe tell your best friend and family, but it's tough. Especially when you're best friend is in lala land because she's getting married.

Berock I can almost see you cleaning with your hubby sitting there...that'd how I feel...when he's not out doing something I feel so depressed...My job doesn't feel like I'm accomplishing anything..it feels stagnate.

We do communicate but he is such a grump when he's not busy. Frowning, and drives me up the wall after awhile..and yet I still love him...

SC that's right, for life not lunch, lol

Appreciate it guys and gals ...love the support. I had to edit this because my kindle auto checks and corrects......too much...

Carol

Post Edited (Carol57) : 7/8/2013 7:37:26 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/8/2013 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
GP, I hope you aren't too lonely.....your separation must be hard to adjust to. I hope if it helps, that maybe this could be a time for you both to get some solitude and peace.....and maybe it would help your marriage to take "separation breaks", hope it works out. Yes marriage is hard, but if you can make it work then it's worth it I think. You have someone to help you who cares, and even in rough times you know they are there. Loneliness isn't good either.

Take care and God bless

Carol
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