Little Bumps In The Road

Hi

Just wanted to let you know there might be some little bumps in the road akong the way. I believe lately my anxiety levels are a bit higher than usual due to stress at work, moving recently and the countdown to baby is now only 6 weeks! We found out we are having a little girl which is amazing! Today I got news my 84 year old sweetest thing in the world grandmother fell again. Seems like there is.a crack in her spine. This doesn't seem like its easily fixed or that it would be condortable for her. I'll leave that up to the doctors. I'm aware that anxiety about her death might be coming or maybe it won't. How have you dealt with the death of a loved one? In my case its unlikely if she passes soon that I could return to the US to say goodbye or attend the funeral with DW so close to the due date. She's lived a long long life and yet last time I saw her she cried so much when I left, not sure why but I suspect its because we may not see each other again.

Her impending death makes me focus on my present and my family, this life that is about to be born. I thought I might react to much news with tears and become diatraught. She's not gone yet but I am ready for grandma to pass. I accept her eventual death and I hope she finds some rest and peace of mind in the hospital these days.

We are all part of this circle of life, I am thankful for it and so very happy with my own little one on the way.

There might be bumps in the road for you, for me last Friday I had a little anxiety attack at work mostly depersonalization which still upsets me some but it doesn't phase me. I'm reminded to slow down, be present in the moment and to accept
anxiety.

I hope you can come to accept anxiety, there is some relief in it even when there's a little bump its a good reminder that we were made to be relaxed.

Joshua

Congratulations on your daughter!

I'm so sorry for the tragedy in your family and other roadbumps and will pray for you.

Good job finding healthy ways to look at all of this and thank you for sharing with us.

Hugs!

Joshua88,

First of all congratulations on discovering that you will be having a daughter, what a joyful time for you.

Death is an inescapable part of life and I suspect that "Grandma" would not want you to feel bad when she dies as she would not want to be the cause of your sadness.  Grandma would want you to enjoy your impending parenthood and all she would ask is that you remember her fondly with love and tenderness.

Shed a few tears when the time comes and someday when your daughter is old enough talk to her about the wonderful woman you called Grandmother. 

Be well and again congratulations on the good news.

Gentle hugs,

Kitt

Josh,
Everyone says that I'm doing a great job staying positive. It doesn't pay to stay negative so I just ditch that. I'm not saying I don't have my bad days and yes I do, everyone does. My situation is a little different than anybody elses. I stopped therapy after a month or so. We both felt like I was to a point where I didn't need it anymore. This week is going to be a little nerveracking since a week from tomorrow is court. (long story). Even my therapist said she has never had a patient that was so positive thru something so tough. I used to go walking everyday but found out that one of my meds coincides with the sun so I can't be outside for any amount of time. I spend my time reading, online, and working a 1000 piece puzzle and volunteering at our local hospital several times a week.

I love life and have never thought different. GOD ONLY GIVES YOU WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE! Sometimes I question that but if he gives it to me I take it and handle it!

Thanks again for the nice compliment Joshua


Lisa

Joshua - how sweet, thank you!