Sookie,We spend a great deal of time in the A & P Forum talking about how we can determine our purpose and passions, and how we can plan for and execute change in our life. But mostly we talk about working on ourself, and no life is lived in isolation. “No man is an island,” wrote John Donne at a time when writers didn’t always pay attention to gender, “entire of itself” We often hear the first part of that quote, but we sometimes forget to pay attention to the second part.
No man is an island, Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
Babies are born knowing their self-worth; as life moves on, the comments, expectations, and attitudes of other people can wear down this natural sense of self-worth. Self-worth is what enables us to believe that we are capable of doing our best with our talents, of contributing well in society, and that we deserve to lead a fulfilling life. Building it up again is therefore natural, essential, and healthy.
How you perceive yourself, how you talk about yourself, and how you represent yourself eventually become the reality for you. And if it happens that you're putting yourself down, belittling your worth, and making light of your talents in the face of others, then you will come across as self-effacing, low in self-esteem, and almost a part of the wallpaper. This isn't humility, it's self-denial and an attempt to lessen your presence.
On the other hand, if you exaggerate your qualities, talents, and skills, you'll come across as egotistical and arrogant but oddly enough, this is not about over-estimating your self-worth but about deceiving yourself through insecurity.
There is a middle pathway and it is the one in which you recognize and celebrate the fact that you are a valuable person, equal to everyone else, and that your talents and thoughts are unique and worthy. Getting to this belief can be difficult if you have spent years underestimating your worth but it is always possible to change your thoughts and to learn to value yourself.
To understand why people need to be validated requires us to look at how often our feelings get shamed. As a society we have very few places where feelings are welcomed. We learn that strength means not crying, bravery means not feeling fear, and maturity means never being angry.
Simply put, validation is the message, "Your feelings make sense. Not only do I hear you, but I understand why you feel the way you do. You are not bad or wrong or crazy for feeling the way you do."
Feelings that spring from unmet needs are often difficult to accept. Whether you believe it or not, all people have needs for connection, physical comfort, and meaning in their life.
"Life is a beautiful struggle."
Blessings to all and Sookie, great topic and know you are normal. I am not "the normal" I was before cancer but I am normal for where I am at this point in my life. 
Kitt