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Missed classes and depressed

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Posted 10/2/2013 3:56 AM (GMT 0)
So, I have missed about five days of one of my college/upgrading classes since starting them earlier last month.

Two weeks ago I missed a class, last week I missed 2, and this week I missed Monday/Tuesday. I feel like a failure for missing so many classes during the first month, when I barely do anything with my time as it is. I have had a cold on and off for a few weeks, so I was not feeling well, but now i'm having a difficult time falling asleep at night so I just don't wake up in the morning for one of my classes, so i've missed about 10 hours of school.This is a science class. My second class is at a different school, math, and I have also barely done anything for it (it is work at your own pace and you choose your own hours, but I just haven't gone). I feel like i'm failing, and I am going to try to get to sleep earlier so I can go tomorrow, but i'm so worried to go there because the instructor might ask where I have been, and other people in the class might as well, so I am going to feel very stupid. sad I'm also worried that I won't be able to fall asleep again tonight, like yesterday. These classes are at the high school level because i'm taking them so I can take university level classes, so i'm lucky in the sense that i'm not missing university/college classes, but i'm still really behind which is not good.

I feel like i'm being lazy and just procrastinating all of the time. All I do most of the time is just sit on my computer and maybe go out to go to the grocery store or for a coffee by myself, but other than that I do nothing. I even have a difficult time studying for tests because my concentration and memory are so bad right now.  I have very low energy right now, too. I think I might be low on iron or something, because I have been before and I feel more tired than usual (and depressed/anxious) but I have no way of knowing this because if I go to my current doctor (i'm trying to find a new one) they will just tell me "it's depression" and do nothing about it. They won't even prescribe me anti-anxiety medication or anti-depressants. I feel horrible. I feel emotionally just empty, and like i'm just existing but not really living. This is the most numb i've ever felt before. My living situation is terrible also. Every time I am around a family member that I live with, they always have something negative to say, and when I try to tell them something about myself, they either pretend to have a headache, say nothing in response, or tell me to shut up, so i'm getting really tired of my living situation too and feel like it's affecting me in a negative way, so i'm hopefully going to move out by January (which is when i'm starting my university level classes). I'd really appreciate any advice.

Post Edited (anxious0813) : 10/1/2013 10:26:19 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/2/2013 4:45 AM (GMT 0)
Anxious I may have asked you before but can't remember, what country or state are you in? Have you
ever tried benadryl for sleep or rest? It's been the best thing I have ever used, also I have almost quit
snoring due to the benadryl draining my sinus's, Peace!

Sorry I just noticed you are in Canada, Beautiful up there now.

Larry ***
Posted 10/2/2013 5:50 AM (GMT 0)
Hey anxious,

Keep working toward your goals of finding a new doctor/therapist/p-doc...this is a great step.

Also changing your living situation sounds like it will make world of difference in how you are feeling. Situational depression may account for much of what you are going through at the moment.

Talking with your teachers, or school counselor may help to shed some light on why you have been absent. Being honest and upfront is always a good move!

Keep posting...and try that MoodGym link (if you haven't already) when you get the chance...it could really start to help.;)

S.C.
Posted 10/2/2013 1:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,
I don't know your exact situation but I feel like we are somewhat similar. I am a college student. In the summer when I went home I felt so anxious about everything. I then had time to finally realize that my anxiety had been going on for years and I was nervous over stuff to the point where it was too much to handle. I went to the doctor.. he is not a pchyscarist but one of the doctors that insists he can do 80 percent of problems. Anyways after going through buspar , celexa I think I might of found the one that works for me. I am currently on Effexor 75mg and have been so for a little over 4 weeks. I really like It so far. Just don't use google to try and self medicate or dignaois yourself. I did that for the longest time. I would recommend you keep looking for a doctor and determine if you want to take the risks associated with being on a medicine. I made that choice and I have to say that I don't regret it so far.
Posted 10/2/2013 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Anxious,

 

First of all, may I ask if all of the difficulties began when you signed up for the college/upgrading classes?  If your anxiety/depression spiked with the new classes, that may have been the trigger for this episode. Do find a therapist or counselor as you truly need to accept that in order to get better you need someone or a program ( MoodGym online) to help you heal.

Here are some tips if you want to remain in the class and try to get a passing grade:

1. Talk to the prof. Find out if there's any way you can pass. Bring your completed assignments and be contrite.

2. Talk to your academic advisor. Is it too late to drop the class? Does your school have a deal where you can retake the class and have the grade replaced? Find out your options.

3. Figure out what's important to you. Are you learning a lot in the class? Is it worth sticking it out and learning as much as you can, even if you end up failing the class? Or is that a waste of your time, in which case you might want to let this class go and focus on your other classes? Just make sure you definitely can't possibly pass before you do that.

I don't think this is going to be the end of the world. I do think you'll learn something from it, even if it's only learning that you need more than one alarm clock and placing them under your bed or across the room so you must get up to turn them off may help to get you to class on-time. 

Look at everyday as a new opportunity.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

 

Posted 10/2/2013 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hi anxious0813,

I hope that todays challenges are going ok, and that you are well :)

Would there be any way of arranging to meet up with someone at college, earlier than the starting time, like, quite a bit earlier for breakfast Or maybe, later, once you've been back a few times, it might then gradually get easier to meet or find someone to meet with in the AM or before class, which could be good encouragement.

Sorry if I have mis-understood any of your message.

I myself have had some issues with trying to get in on time to work and when at university, finding motivation to turn up when I didn't 'have too' all the time.

I'm just interested, do you have any/have had any issues with your family helping to wake you in the morning, or help you set up for the day? I see you explained some things about family. One thing which really gets me going these days, is 'competition'. I seem to have become more competitive, maybe as I feel more confident that I can get on if I try or relax about subjects I might previously have panic-ed about not knowing.

There is a high chance, although some tutors may be upset over missed time, there are just as many who will be concerned in a supportive way that you had been away.

I do think sometimes, it does help to go along and see how things turn out. :) then once you are there, the difficult initial step is done, one more thing to tick off.

Another idea (just since I'm struggling with some things I am myself scared of) if there is someone around, could even be the forum, sometimes if you tell yourself, I'm going in today, then afterwards I'm going to tell someone about how it went, that for me sometimes helps with the worry over doing what it is I'm worried about)

Just another thought, your tutor might be able to provide some handouts from previous classes.

I hope this helps. You are totally entitled to decide your future courses, these I just put down as ideas, if you'd like to go in and are finding it hard with the first move, etc.

I hope that you start to feel better soon too!
Posted 10/3/2013 7:35 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone. Thank you all for your advice. I missed pretty much all of my classes this week, so i'm just going to try going next week. I sent an e-mail to the instructor of one of my classes explaining that I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't there this week, and asked how I could make up for missed assignments. I don't actually need the science class. Actually, the reason I signed up for it was so I could start waking up earlier (which worked at first, but hasn't been over the past couple of weeks). I don't really like the class (I don't find science or math very interesting) but i'm going to continue taking it anyways. I do need the math, though, so I can take math courses in university to count toward my science/math credit (my program is B.A.) A month ago I was waking up at 7 pm, so it's been really challenging to change my sleep pattern. My depression and anxiety have been causing me so many problems for years, and i'm just looking forward to eventually not having to deal with it anymore when I finally start figuring out how to resolve it. Thanks again for all of your advice.
Posted 10/3/2013 4:31 PM (GMT 0)
Good job on being pro-active in all of these things. You needed a week off due to health (mental health counts!)...and you followed up with your professor which was the right thing to do.

Signing up for earlier classes was a big step, and one that will take time to adust to. It worked for awhile, so I think that you can expect it to again, once your anxiety lessens and your sleep pattern gets back on track.

Keep up with your coping skills...really focus on doing them regularly at this time!

Best wishes for a fresh start next week...we are cheering you on!

S.C.
Posted 10/3/2013 11:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Megan,

I think it is very important not to give yourself too much of a hard time.

It can be difficult I think, to get to grips with subjects which aren't always feeling like they are of as much interest.

I think I got the competitive streak, which got me going with Maths, though I haven't been known for being very quick with mental arithmetic/still not, but I get a little happy when I get sums right, that is providing I am working on areas which are at the right level for my strengths.
If I'm stuck, I find it helps a lot to keep asking and telling people I don't get it. (eventually even the stuff that I don't get, sometimes might make sense)

I've been taught that it helps to teach someone else the subject/explain to another person how it's done, if you know how to do it, just a few things some people have told me...I really wish you well in your adventures.

I'm not ignoring the way you are feeling. I sincerely hope that you feel better soon! :)
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