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stuff that's real, and stuff that's not real

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Posted 10/17/2013 2:38 PM (GMT 0)
I am going to start CBT soon.  (Just need to find the right therapist and enough time in my ridiculously busy schedule to do it).  I have read some of the materials that people on this board have suggested, so I have some idea what it is about.   I think it will be good for me.  I don't like rambling and bullsh...ing about problems.  Instead, I prefer identifying a problem and working in a directed way toward fixing it.  And it seems like CBT does that. 

But a lot of what I have seen deals with convincing yourself that you are overestimating risks, that it is not as bad as it seems, etc.  

But what about the stuff that REALLY IS bad?   It is not the case that every time you are anxious about something it is because you are over-estimating the risk.  Sometimes you know exactly what the risk is, and what the consequences are likely to be -- and that is why your anxious.

Are the coping skills for dealing with "stuff that is real" different than the skills necessary for coping with "stuff that is not real"?   Seems to me they must be. 

Put another way, if you live in constant fear that a tiger is chasing you, then maybe through CBT and other work you can learn to convince yourself that a tiger is not chasing you, and that when you start to think that a tiger is chasing you, you should write down that a tiger is not chasing you, and realize that there are no tigers in your city, and that nobody in your city has ever been chased by a tiger, etc.  

But what if a tiger really is chasing you?   (I know, run fast!).    How do you deal with that anxiety? 

The analogy is not great, but I think you get the idea.

Thoughts much appreciated.

Posted 10/17/2013 5:01 PM (GMT 0)
MV.

For me is was about learning to putting up filters.

I actually had the very same question for my therapist in regards to my health anxiety.

My point was that, yes, in fact people do get sick and die.

His reply? 'Yep.' ;/

He went on to say that people with anxiety, often realists with high intelligence, (*great*!) lack the filters that many people have in order to live life without running down the road a' hollerin'.;p

The fact is, there are many legitimate reasons to be afraid every minute of our lives.

We are told 'Don't worry' 'It will be okay'...but honestly, sometimes it is not...and the cold hard truth is, we do have reason to worry.

So what to do?

We have to learn to face and accept that we have little control over many facets of our lives....and while that is a somewhat terrifying leap to make, it also brings incredible freedom!

We do however have control over our reactions to the things that worry us, and that is where the filters come in.

While some people naturally have this immunity from worry...we have to work at creating it.

We have to use our coping skills to battle the intrusive thoughts and fears that pop up.

We can say to ourselves:

'Yes, that is a possibility, and I can let it take me down, or I can choose to filter it out and move on.'

That doesn't mean that the fear is going to flee completely right away...but it certaintly takes some power out of it...and eventually we may be able to eliminate it completely if we keep up our practices/coping skills and acceptance of the anxiety.

IDK if this helps or makes sense, or makes it worse (I hope not!) but the way our brains work sounds really similar...and this is what helped me.

Wishing you the best finding and starting your treatment!!

S.C.
Posted 10/17/2013 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
That is very helpful, S Cat. A goal of mine is to be able to think:

'Yes, that is a possibility, and I can let it take me down, or I can choose to filter it out and move on.'
Posted 10/17/2013 5:49 PM (GMT 0)
medved,

I know exactly what your asking as I am living through the kind of stress that won't go away with therapy and I find it truly unbearable at times.

All sorts of situations can cause stress. The most common involve work, money matters and relationships with partners, children or other family members. Stress may be caused either by major upheavals and life events such as divorce, unemployment, moving, and bereavement, or by a series of minor irritations such as feeling undervalued at work or dealing with difficult children.

Excessive or prolonged stress can lead to illness and physical and emotional exhaustion.

For GAD, PAD and for depression CBT and other programs are a great help.  For my problems and feelings , I see my psychiatrist as some things in life are beyond our control and I need to accept help from people who are part of my care team as well as my prayer warriors.

I have a couple of direct hotline phone numbers to call if I just need to feel connected to another person.

My wish is that you never get stuck to long in a situation that you cannot find help for.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

Posted 10/17/2013 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Learning to tell the difference is the huge step many of us have so much trouble taking, so congrats on getting that far!

Once the fear is rational, I ask myself "what can I do about it? am I doing that?" If I'm doing everything I can or if I have no control, I try to give it over to a higher power and trust as much as I'm able.

Remember, too, a little anxiety over real dangers is a healthy adaptive thing. It's just when it becomes immobilizing that it's a problem.
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