Sam,
Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Forum. This is the place to
come if you have questions or concerns about anxiety/panic, related medications
and their side effects and recovery. Some of our members have been living with
anxiety and related disorders for years, while others are new to this
disorder.
I'm sorry that your anxiety is so bad and really
affecting you in a negative way. Do you have a therapist, if not, do you think
you could try to get one? It's hard to try to deal with this on your own.
Certain therapies, like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy can usually be really
beneficial for GAD and other anxiety disorders.
Please accept my deepest sympathy for the
untimely loss of your daughter. I lost a son in 1990 and I can empathise
with the sorrow you are experiencing.
I don’t think you ever get over the loss in
your heart. I think you have to acknowledge the fact that, when you love
someone and that person is gone, you’re going to miss her. And that has
nothing to do with your spiritual strength or trust or even with whether you’ve
been true to your grieving. It’s a perfectly human thing to continue to miss
your daughter who has died.
When Christmastime comes, Christmas Eve, and there’s
no Todd (my son) who’s going to walk in the door with a big sack of
presents and say,”Hi, Mom!” I have a
hard time. It has been 23 years and I still miss him, I still cry for him but
mostly I do it alone now.
My email is wide open and I would be truly honored
if you want to email me about the grief you are living through as I will
support you.
I think with everything you are going through it is truly likely that anxiety is causing you to feel so awful together with your grief. I am going to post a link to another forum that may be helpful for you:
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Sudden-Infant-Death-Syndrome-SIDS/support-group