So, I have intrusive thoughts all of the time that seem to come from nowhere, for no reason. I don't purposely think negative things and have been really upset over this at times, but some of the things (usually just words) that I think about
sometimes are really negative, scary, and sometimes even threatening. One of my worst fears for the past couple of years has been writing something down or saying something threatening without knowing it. I'm worried of writing down or saying something threatening or scary without realizing it or by accident. For example, when I was in high school and had to write exams, I would write the exam and have to check the entire exam over to make sure the answers I gave were either appropriate or that I didn't write anything extra on the paper that could be offensive. Sometimes it would take me longer to check my paper than to write the actual exam. Because of this, I am afraid to leave voice mail messages on a phone, because I am afraid I could say something wrong and not be able to take my words back. Whenever I send an e mail, I have to check it over carefully to make sure i'm sending what I want to be sending and not something bad.
If my family member is around and I am worried about it, I ask them to check it for me, especially when I used to send resumes online. I used to tell them it was to check for spelling etc, just because I don't know what they would think if I told them exactly why (since they can already be pretty negative I don't like to tell them much about anxiety). The worst is when I know I won't be able to see what I write or hear what I say again. Another problem that I have is when I am out in public (this usually only happens when I am by myself) I will have something come to mind that is negative/scary/threatening and feel like I am going to say it out loud! Obviously I don't want to think negative or threatening things, and I don't want the words to come to mind that often do, but it's like I can't help it.
Does anyone have any experience with anything similar or know why this might be happening? This has been ongoing for over two years now. 
Post Edited (anxious0813) : 10/22/2013 3:34:05 PM (GMT-6)