So i've written a lot about
a family member who has been causing me a lot of stress lately. I always feel kind of on edge no matter what, but whenever I am around them now I feel like I am going to go crazy. They repeat the same negative things over and over again, and just make me feel so stressed out and miserable. I hear so many negative things constantly that I feel like i'm going to have a mental breakdown. I am planning on moving out when my financial situation is better and my health is better, but I feel like I can't really accomplish any major goals while living with them. They are going away for about
a week, which is going to be a nice break for a while. A while back I decided that I wanted to try to quit smoking (mostly to save money but also for health as well) but I knew that there was no way I could do this being around them all of the time. I'd really like to try to quit during the time that they are gone, just because I know i'm wasting money and because I smoke so much my health is really bad because of it. I am worried, though, about
what I am going to do when they get back and start saying all of these negative things again, and how I can cope with that and not be smoking for the first time in years. I don't really do much with my time so I decided if I do quit smoking regardless, I need to find other things to do with my time besides sitting in my house constantly.
Whenever I think about living with them and how I have been feeling for years, I just want to break free from all of this negativity and live a completely different life. I still care about this family member no matter what, but over the years they have caused me a lot of stress and at times have had a very negative impact on my life. I really feel the need to distance myself and to start a new life, as my life is completely empty. I'm 21 and I don't really know what it is like to be happy and to feel like I have control over my own life, and i'm tired of feeling this way, and so all I want is just to feel healthy for once and to be able to experience life. It's all just so frustrating.
Post Edited (anxious0813) : 10/24/2013 6:17:40 PM (GMT-6)