Obsessional OCD, could clonazepam work for the anxiety?

So I recently quit all my prescriptions, lexapro and xanax. Because For over a year I been having issues with antidepressants for my Pure obsessional ocd and panic attacks. I had it since I was child. I had a really bad ocd brake-down when I was about 11 but I hided it , and my parents thought it was normal anxiety because it happened after my grandfather died. I was fine and I forgot about it until i turned 21. I was watching some random movie about a person that goes crazy and I had the worse thought that I could go crazy, then I had a horrible panic attack. After that I decided to figure out what I had , and I did it out of the OCD fear that I could actually go crazy and hurt someone. I took zoloft and It worked for about 5 months then I took lexapro and it worked for a year then, i almost felt normal I traveled and I felt fine then again I had to stop it. Then I took cymbalta and after 5 months of feeling weird I stopped it again. Since last february I been having so many issues with all prescriptions I have tried, prozac, luvox and lexapro again and it the problem is instead of having less anxiety sometimes I have more,intrusive thoughts never go away, I can't sleep, I can't wake up in the morning and many other things. I don't have much visible compulsions, because I try to limit myself I know what I have, what happens is I can't never be sure of anything I always doubt. I have ocd of hurting someone, myself or just loosing control. I fear getting any hallucinations or any symptoms of loosing control. It is like being a hypochondriac but of mental diseases. I have never hallucinated anything , had anything that anyone could even tell I had a problem I am a pretty well controlled person.
Anyway I have decided that maybe SSRI don't work for me. I del exhausted and very worried because I want to live my life normal like I used to do. The latest fear I have developed was that I feel a little bit depressed because of quitting the antidepressant. I fear that I will become depressed and don't want to live anymore, or that I will become locked up and never go out by fear , never be able to do anything. I am sharing this because I feel better saying it, It is a battle because it is so hard to have a problem like this. But I love life and I am so terrified of becoming depressed , I want to live I want to not doubt and be feel normal.
I think I will try with clonazepan because it could work, I think it won't cure my ocd but it will help me calm down the anxiety to a point where i can manage my ocd. When I fell calm i do have ocd thoughts but its not a big deal I can get rid of them. please HELP!!
Thank you for reading !
Luna

Thank you what happens is for over a year I been dealing with this. Right now i don't even know what i have. I don't know if it is anxiety , panic , ocd or i am depressed? I think i was better before taking the lexapro at least i did not have depression. I think i am a little scared, because I feel sad, I feel frustrated . when I don't feel this way i worry about everything, that maybe what if can't graduate, what if i can't live my life normally. What if i can't work ? then I think about the my ocd worries. I think right now I don't only have OCD I also have other things like maybe really bad anxiety and although I don't have so much panic all day I am having intrusive thoughts related to ocd or to just anxiety . Then when i feel sad because of my anxiety thoughts and I want to cry. I never had something like this, usually i had tons and tons of panic and ocd . I am just scared of not being able to live my life normally. I think is because this year it was really horrible, after I took the cymbalta and went trough withdrawal i couldn't go outside my house for 2 months of how bad i was i couldn't even walk. Then 3 months i tried pills, none worked. Finally when I tried the lexapro I felt better for 2 months then I got a refill of my prescription and I felt so bad again :S!!!!I thought for some time they maybe gave me the wrong prescription but it was the same. I am just frustrated I am going to go to another psychologist. I sad , scared, confused but all I want is to be ok. I want to feel happy and hopeful about stuff. It has been a month I been feeling this way :(

Thank you for answering

Luna,

When do you see your new psychologist? That is great news that you are going to see someone who can help you to sort this all out.

Try to be patient, as it may take time, but you are headed in the right direction...so that makes me glad.:)

Do you know if your psychologist works with a psychiatrist who can help with your prescribing? Or will you get your medication from your MD?

Either way, making sure that all of your health team members are communicating together will be a huge help!

Talk to you soon,

S.C.

I really feel like doing nothing ! is so weird because usually when I am anxious I am doing all things I can. Because I am terrified to get depressed and hurt myself I do so much things, because i think " What if I get depressed !! OMG I must do everything so I don't" this time I can't even stand up , I force myself to because if not i get a Panic attack out of harm ocd.

what about clonazepan or ativan ? I am convinced that a pill can't cure ocd, but maybe if I have less anxiety it will easier to slowly work on my recovery and my obsessions. I just want to be like I was a month ago , anxious and with ocd but somehow I was happy .

I took green tea and saffron tea, and vitamin c it supposed to help for depression? :/

I've battled with that stuff for a while. It sucks. It's like being in a really unhealthy, clingy relationship. You can't go anywhere or do anything without it checking in and being with you. Even when you get some alone time and feel better, it's there. You can't tell it to go away because it will just get upset and make a bigger scene, but if you let it stay in your life it's annoying and uncomfortable.

It eventually goes away don't worry, but you need to work on it as well. In my most recent battle (which I'm still working through) once I saw that these thoughts and impulses and whatever aren't actually what I wanted and could confidently say they were just "thoughts," I made a list of about 10 things to think of as soon as I caught myself starting to over-think, over-analyze or get lost in an intrusive thought. They go from things like my dog, to food, to saying the pledge, to starting a conversation. I'm not going to lie, it's really hard to train yourself to stop thinking of the thoughts, but hey you've danced with the intrusive thoughts long enough, you have no more use for them. There's no point in trying to understand them if all they're going to do is make you upset.