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Went to psychiatrist, now I have worse panic

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 12/6/2013 7:40 AM (GMT 0)
Since I have going crazy, harm , self harm "pure O" OCD, going to a psychiatrists associates office its the most scary thing ever. I felt ashamed, I felt embarrassed, and guilty. I went to receptionist and the lady asked for " for who is the appointment? " I just said " ME!" she just kind of looked at me. Then when I read the papers that I had to submit with questions like " have you hurt someone? do you hear voices? do you hallucinate" I was hyperventilating, since I am afraid of going crazy this place is my worst nightmare so many scary thoughts , intrusive thoughts that OCD gives me. It was horrible sad !!! There was a lot of people there kids crying and I don't know. Unfortunately this is the only option for me because therapist is not covered by my insurance, and my doctor doesn't know much about anxiety disorders so I had to go there. They supposedly have good doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists and also offer some therapy. I hope is worth the trauma. Today I realized I hate to be out of control , or to look like I am out of control so for me. realizing I need to go to a place like that makes me very sad because I wish with all my heart I didn't have anything. I want to get a better job, I want to go to grad school and I am wasting my time worrying about stupid things.
Thank you for reading I will wait for my appointment. shocked
Posted 12/6/2013 7:50 AM (GMT 0)
Luna,

You are not alone, as a lot of people share your feelings about going to their appointments.

The first therapist that I could find...and the only one accepting new patients and with my insurance...was a geriatric psychologist!!

So here I was, in my thirties...in a waiting room full of very old people.;p Talk about out of place, lol!

However, the end justifies the means...so no matter what, you can hold on to the fact that you are there to ultimately improve your quality of life!

Try not to look at is as...'Oh I have to do this because I have mental issues'

...but rather...

'I am choosing to do this for a happier me!'

You are doing the right things...and it will get better for you.

I am impressed with all that you have going on...and that you are handling it all very well.

Keep posting!

S.C.
Posted 12/6/2013 7:53 AM (GMT 0)
Oh and as far as those forms? They are standard and give them to everyone!!

Years ago, I was in treatment for an eating disorder. Since this is considered a mental issue...the ole standard test forms were administered...

Do I hear voices? Do I have thoughts of harming myself or others? Do I have thoughts of guilt or religion/punishment hang ups...seriously?

I am just here because I think I am not thin enough, and I over diet!!! Lol!!

S.C.
Posted 12/6/2013 4:50 PM (GMT 0)
Luna,
The best way to combat fear and other psychological problems is to focus on reality. Force yourself to focus on what is real. Your fears are based on erroneous thinking. For instance, you are terrified of going to the psychiatrists, but in reality doctors exist for the purpose of healing you. There is no reason to fear a psychiatrist or the people in the office. Don’t allow yourself to believe in an idea that has no basis in reality.

I applaud the fact that you are making an effort to seek help. Just getting to the psychiatrists associates office should be considered an accomplishment, a step toward your return to happiness. I know that it will be difficult but force yourself to go to the appointment. There are no secret tricks. Just get in your car and go, even if you are frightened. Realize that nothing bad can come from seeing a mental health professional. The most likely outcome from attending the appointment is relief and your finally getting the help that you deserve. Please take care.

Forms, forms and more forms ! Every time I see my Psychiatrist I must fill out the same form. One day I saw the therapist first and followed with an appointment with my Psychiatrist which meant I had to fill out the same form twice. I asked my psychiatrist if I got the answers right both times and we laughed as she said there is no right or wrong answer.

Remember, we are here for you so talk with us anytime you choose.

Kindly,
Kitt
Posted 12/7/2013 7:30 AM (GMT 0)
I have been with therapists before , 4 of them. But they are not covered by my insurance so I had to pay 100 at least out of pocket :/. What happens is I went to the clinic they get all cases there like all mental diseases. I am afraid of loosing control and being crazy or evil or both so for me going to a psychiatric clinic is like !! I can't even explain it is like if you are scared of becoming an alcoholic and suddenly you find yourself in a bar full of drunk people!! I feel like OMG what is next? the asylum? I will end up looked up in a mental clinic :'(!!! Then I panicked in the middle of the clinic then I think what if I have psychosis or schizophrenia !!! What if no one can help me !!!
To calm myself down I just say yes I have it and probably i am the craziest person in this building!! and try to calm down.
I used to not have this fears I could pass a clinic like this and be perfectly fine, just have the normal reaction that anyone has " Oh a psychiatric clinic!" then move on with life.
OCD appeared in my life when i was 11 . I was scared about I guess something happening to my family and also harming someone. I told my mom I had panic and some problems but my parents thought it was normal since my grandfather had died of leukemia, they thought it was maybe my way of copping with his death. Anyway somehow I kept it to myself and it went away or at least i forgot about it. Then after some years I had about 3 panic attacks out of random intrusive thoughts when I was in high school, but I was sent to the ER and nothing much happened.
I went to a psychologist but because when I was 17 I had bad IBS and they thought it was nervous, but after some months I was fine again. then it was at 21 when it really hit me and I discovered I suffer from GAD and Pure OCD.
I am thankful because at least I didn't spend much of my young years with doctors. I wish I could forget about my OCD again like I did. I don't know how but I have to get over this!!even if I have to panic every time I go there ! I don't care.

Thank you for reading.

Luna
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