I'm losing it bad! I need help

I can't handle this. I keep thinking I'm sick. I think I'm sick and I have convinced myself I am so my anxiety is so crazy right now. I keep hysterically crying over it and it's scaring my kids.

My stomach keeps cramping but I'm also on my period. I've had 2 cups of coffee today and I haven't eaten. I just made dinner for my kids and since I'm so scared the food smell made my stomach turn. So I think because of that I'm sick. I know in the past if I felt like this food made me feel better but I can't let myself eat right now because my fear has taken control.

I can't take this. It's like I was kinda ok then everything came back so much worse. I see my psychologist tomorrow. I wish I could see him right now. I need to talk to him. He makes me feel better. I wish it was the old days when you could call your doctor when you needed to.

Mommie, try to make some notes about the way you are feeling and take them tomorrow, it will help him to
find a way for you to fight the fears, Prayers, always

Larry ***

Thanks everyone.

Last night I really thought I was losing it. I cleaned my house which calmed me down a bit. I saw my doc and told him everything. He already knows how bad I am. He made me laugh and cry. I love that man. He's he best doctor I found. I'm not at all meaning to sound racist because I'm not so if I offend someone by saying this I'm sorry. But he's an older white man and I've had better luck with them. Doctors in my past which were East Indian or something else didn't have as much compassion and they didn't listen to me. I always left the doctor feeling worse. My GP is an East Indian lady and she's very intimidating and very abrupt but she he's to the point and looks into things more than my other doctors. I've just haven't had good luck with doctors.

I did ok today. I didn't eat last night but I had a black bean burger and a burger place today. I didn't start to panic till later. I stressed out because the bathrooms were busy at the place we ate so me and my kids didn't get to was our hands before we touched our food so that's got me nervous all over again. I refused to eat dinner again because I made chicken Parmesan and the chicken smelled strange when I was cooking it but everyone else said it smelled fine. I always freak out over chicken. It's a nightmare for me to cook. So now I'm scared I gave my family food poisioning.

It just never stops. My doc gave me yet another new medication called Zyprexa. So now I'm nervous again over that too. I always get either stomach issues or problems with uncontrollable movements. It scares me because my aunt is permanently damaged from that. I tend to always get problems with my jaw locking or shaking. And that's what happened to my aunt. She had that reaction to a medication and she always has her hands on her face to keep her jaw under control. I'm so scared that would happen to me since I get that reaction to some medications.

I hope everyone will be well. I'm in bed stressed out.

Thanks Larry, I think I need a lot of them right now as my paranoia has me all messed up. My kids fell asleep early which is making me feel worse.