Scared of being alone with kids

Hi all,

The last (and only) time I posted was sometime last year when I had my first few panic attacks. In between then and now I somehow managed to tame my fears and controlled my anxiety - I still got scared but they never escalated into a fullblown attack.

Tomorrow my husband will be going away for four days and I am scared stiff of being alone with my two daughters. Not because I'm afraid I won't be able to handle them but because I'm terrified if something were to happen to me they'd be left alone in the house until my husband returns since one is 2.8yrs old and the other 9 weeks.

I've always felt this deep fear of being alone with them but it's worse this time as my husband will be out of the country. I always imagine if something happens to me what will my children do and imagine them crying and feeling so alone and scared which makes my anxiety even worse...

I wish I can be a normal mom. I can't even imagine being a SAHM until my kids can learn to call their dad or 911. It's 5am where I am and I haven't slept because this fear is really getting to me.. Anyone out there like me who have survived..?? Help :(

This is so normal. My daughter is 12, and when my husband worked midnights, I would have anxiety so bad. Just because I was afraid what if something happened or if I did pass out, etc. She knows how to dial 911, and call people. She would be able to let an EMT in, and put away the dogs..but it's still in the back of my mind...I'm also afraid to be in the car with her, in case something happens..Somehow I need to learn to stop this behavior because it always makes it worse. But just know you are not the only one it happens to. I also believe it is just a mom thing too, because we are always worried about our children, and when we add anxiety to the mix I think it makes us worse..

you'll be in my prayers tonight. You're going to be alright! All my best

Dear all,

Thanks so much for the support! My husband came back last night and i've never felt this kind of relief in my entire life..

The first night alone with kids i slept at 7am the next day. The 2nd night around 4am the final night earlier still 1am plus. I guess i progressed with each day, but all 3 nights were filled with immense fear nontheless.

My ears would perk up at every sound, creak, groan and whistle. I'd run downstairs 2-3 times to check doors were locked. I'd imagine robbers, a fire, falling in the toilet, passing out and the list goes on. I pushed my baby's cot to block the door then unlocked and unblocked the door so that my kids could at least free themselves if anything were to happen.. of course nothing happened but boy am i exhausted..

I wish i could go back to being normal.. to think that my anxiety is only 2 yrs old is unbelievable.. sometimes it feels like its been with me for years and years. That's how draining it is, right..

Wishing the best for us and may we one day find ourselves healed.

Much love.