Feel like I'm falling deeper into the black hole ... And can't get out

Hi everyone , I'm not well hope you all are ...sending prayers your way

I literally give up , I just can't deal with it anymore it's been a fight the last two years pure hell , from my son begin dx either cancer , to my anxiety issue , to losing our home , my job , it's like what the heck ...

I thought this storm would pass May 9 th , of 2013 my sox was dx with cancer , after a year of basically living at the hospital , and his chemo treatments he is well and in remission , and trust me I think God for his life , my anxiety issue started in August 2012 and it started with my chest pains only , it's now May 2014 and after almost 2 years of me at every doctor , every specialist , every Er , a few hospital stays , and procedures , and test , and test and more test , it's seems my anxiety is worst and worst ...

It don't make since because my son is better , we have a home , I just started a new job been out over a year was not ready to go back but the bills are piling up so had no choice , we are in a better state then what we was , so why can't I get better

My entire body hurts , Saturday I had to go to ER I felt like I was about to pass out , this strange feeling came over me I never felt before this is a new sx , my head feels heavy , feels like I'm just pass out , my head hurts , I feel sick to my stomach , still getting chest pains , body aches , pins and needles , I'm like that entire list of anxiety sx ..... Why why can't this go away , I'm not even stress , I feel awful , I can't do the things I love , this pass two weeks of going back to work has been hell

I stay in worship , I stay in prayer , making changes to my life , I stay away from negative ppl and removed them from my life , what else can I do , I have done all I can......

My son worries about me , and I hate that , I don't want any stress on him he has been through enough .....,

I want to live , I want my life back ........ My job is right around the corner from where I live so I only do local stuff that feels safe like go to store up the road , hospital is around the corner , I haven't left my state in months just been in my local area , I hate this ...m

My son does his make a wish on Saturday and I pray that I'm up to it , pls help me , I'm so scared ... I feel like I'm in a deep hole I keep climbing up but then I fall down .....


My body hurts , aches , heAd hurts , everyday all day , it's just unnatural ....

God help us all ...

Thanks SC .... Yes I'm going to try something

I agree it's time to try a med. It doesn't have to be forever but you've suffered long enough. It's not a sign if weakness to get medical intervention- and it's not necc something you have to stay on permanently. In the bible it says to seek out your elders and let them annoint you with oil. That oil was medicine! And thank God we've come so far that we have soooooo many medicines to treat us temporarily or permanently.

Please call your doctor tmr to get an appointment. If your insurance allows, seek a psychiatrist or get a referral from your family doc for one. You are a survivor and this too shall certainly pass.

Blessings,
Lisa

SOIA,
So sorry your going through so much. We all have been where you are, at some point. It truly does feel like you are never going to get out of it. I still would be there, if I didn't go ahead and take the xanax when mine was first out of control.
"Dear Lord, please help our friend get through this difficult time. Please lay your hands on her tonight and ease her suffering. I know you have done many good things before, and you will again. I ask this of you in Jesus name, Amen."
Prayers sent for you, wishing you a calm night.

SOIA,

It is my prayer and hope that you can come to a decision on how to best proceed.

It is difficult when you are hearing different things from different people and influences in your life, I know.

I am sending encouraging thoughts your way today.

S.C.

SOITA,

I can relate to how you feel. It sounds like you have a lot of little things going on that build up and it feels overwhelming. Even though you are moving forward with positive things it's not without a lot of work on your part that makes you feel exhausted and fearing that you can't keep it up. Then there is the guilt that you aren't trusting our Lord that He WILL take care of you and all your circumstances. We know that we are not supposed to worry if we TRUST in our Lord.

I can empathize. I am guilty of the same. Jesus take the wheel.

So I started 25mg Zoloft today ... And of course I'm so scared ...
Will this really help me .... I don't wanna take meds why must I do this ... But I don't feel right so if they say this will help and it's nothing else wrong with me I guess I will try , but what worries me is did I let this get too out of hand if I would of taken this back in sept of 2012 would I be better by now ....

SOIA,   Good Morning my friend, sorry I am late responding - I just came off of 6 tougher than nails weeks  but on Friday I seemed to have turned the corner and the depression and anxiety are more manageable. I am encouraging everyone to be kind to themselves today  .Simply remind yourself of why it is smart to be kind to yourself. By knowing the reasons why it is smart to be kinder to yourself it, in my experience, becomes easier and easier to be kind to yourself and to take the time for it every day. By reminding yourself of benefits such as better real life results, more perseverance, higher self-esteem, more inner happiness and stillness, more positive relationships with yourself and other people it becomes easier to stay kind to yourself through life’s  ups and downs. For your sake, I am glad you are trying medication and remember this is being kind to yourself as with time, medication may be one of the things that will help you. If this were a perfect world, we would have one medication that would cure disorders without any nasty side effects. What a world that would be!! No pain, no nausea, no headaches, no itchy skin, no drowsiness and no constipation; wouldn't that be fantastic ? For now, we live in a world where medications do cause side effects. We can only hope that the medication chosen for you provides more benefit than harm. When you start your new medication, please expect some initial side effects that usually will go away within several weeks as your body adjusts to the new, foreign chemical. So you need to give this medication a good college try before a decision is made whether or not it will work for you. During this trial phase please alert your Physician   to any side effects that you may be experiencing. Everyone is different. Over time I hope that your physician   can find the right combination of medications that helps return some quality of life to you but does not cause more harm than good. It is hard for me to post this but it is my reality - I was dx in 1982 with anxiety/depression and most of the time I have been on medication.  Over the 32 years I had many, many years where I coped well along with having short glitches along the way.  My major depressive episode struck in 2006 and I went through many medications as well as tried without medications so I understand better than I would like to how tough it is to believe in the medications.  I had some that worked than pooped out, some I was allergic to but with the help of a terrific psychiatrist I currently take a cocktail of medications as well as I see her in person every 8 weeks or more often if I start to flounder. I don't usually share with my friends ETC what meds I take as I feel many people are critical and having no knowledge of severe depression, PTSD and anxiety, they will put down the use of medications with comments like, "All the Drs.do is throw prescript ions at you!"  Together with medications, self help practices, therapy and alternative therapies and of course all my peers and friends here in this forum, I do well. Each person has the right to make their own decisions re medications - be gentle with yourself and don't plan on pushing yourself physically while adjusting to the medication.  Don't anticipate feeling ill while starting the meds but keep an open mind. I do hope you find the help you need by adding medication to your day.  Remember, my email is always open if you have a personal question you would like to ask me............... Keeping you in my prayers. Kitt