A life ran on fear is debilitating

Dear A & P Friends,   Anxiety = fear. Fear, a life ran on fear is debilitating. So what are you afraid of? This is what I do when I am afraid. I talk to myself, I say "self what's going on?", what's the matter and then I try to answer myself without being mean to me. Matter of fact, that's what you have to do, you have to be your best friend, a friend who has been with you your whole life. Most people are afraid of looking stupid or making mistakes, lots of people had angry and or critical parents and the feel like the are not good enough. No one can convince you that you are good enough, you have to do that! The simple fact that you take in air makes you good enough, the fact that you were born makes you good enough, but if you don't believe it, then you will just keep repeating the same brain washing your parents gave you. It can end with you but you have to find out how, read books on self esteem and learn to love yourself I know it is possible because I have done it, it takes lots of practice but you are worth it. Go find a good therapist who works with folks who need to build good self esteem. Talk to one another here in the forum and most of all know you have the power within to  let fear and anxiety move out of your life. Keep busy, very busy.  My therapist taught me that I can move my butt and take a walk even if I am crying - just put on over sized sun glasses and yes, even on a cloudy day.  No excuses. “You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.” Gentle Hugs, Kitt  

Your post reminds me of how I've always talked to myself. I carry on full dialogues on both side of the conversation. Often times, I can be my own therapist, but it seems to help when I ask myself questions out loud (it makes them real), and answer them out loud (to confirm the real part).

Sometimes inner dialogue gets distracted by random other things going on.

My therapist has a sign in her office that reads: "If you had a friend who treated you the way YOU treat you,...would you still be their friend?"

Makes sense, does it not?

My fears circle around being my own worst enemy. Manifesting grander problems when the "smarter me" would rationalize that taking little bites of moments in time makes a whole lot more sense.

Excellent question to pose.....







M.

GREAT Post!!!!

Thank you for sharing these wise words. :)

i ask myself this questions everyday ....

stkitt,

You are under tremendous stress and fear and anger and all sorts of anxiety and mixed feelings, your strong reactions are to be expected. I am sure your daughter understands and loves you, good days AND bad.

Hugs...

THANK-YOU for this reminder. It's ALL true. Even in my current battle w/depression & anxiety, I know this is true. It takes work and that can seem insurmountable when you feel very down or hopeless but I just know it's a "thin blue line" between the anxiety &/or depression and wellness. I know for a fact if not for my current struggle, and should any of the addons they've tried with my current AD had "just worked" like the few times in my life I've experienced this, I would not have LEARNED.

I am a "stuffer." I don't like to feel scared, sad, _insert any negative feeling_ so I stuff and distract. It may just take one tiny drop to overflow that "filling teacup." Then I'm like what the heck, where did this come from and freak out.

It comes from years of habits of stuffing (literally and mentally. I've used food as a crutch for many years). I didn't realize til NOW (nothing like a breakdown kicking you in the behind), that my coping skills needed polished. My therapist said "what did you learn in the past when you went through a rough time, took a med and it worked right away?".... I said- mentally, not much.. I went back to my old ways, being bandaided by a med w/o doing the work of figuring out or resolving WHY I got there...

I have a bachelors degree in social work and psychology. Isn't it funny we know better but we can be our own worst enemy. "When we know better we do better." Maya Angelou

Thank you for the reminder Kitt. xoxoxo

-Lisa