I'm a mess!!!!

So I freaked out over a girl at the grocery store being sick. I don't know what it was. But when I hear sick I automatically starve myself until I feel safe. But between that time I was in a few questionable situations so I continued to not eat. When I finally felt safe and began to eat a little my son comes home from his dad's saying his cousin looked funny all day and then vomited all over the bathroom. Apparently his mom was sick but said it was food poisioning. So I stressed all week. Barely eating again. Then he comes home yesterday and said his uncle got it. Well the uncle was at the house today. I'm going crazy. Why can't people just stay home when their sick?!!

I have barely left my house in weeks and when I do I freak out thinking I'm going to just randomly vomit. I can't do this anymore. I really want to run away.

To add to that I been having unusual health hypochondria. I seriously almost convinced myself I have cancer. I don't know why. I know what has triggered it though. I have severe body pain. The doctors ignor me and said it's fybromyalgia. But the medication for it didn't help. I'm taking 800 mg ibruprophine like candy for the pain. I have 2 lumps on my neck. Then my leg and knee have been killing me and causing me to limp. The other day I noticed a lump on my leg right below my knee. I've examined it because I'm always bruised up and I don't know why or how. So I figured maybe I bumped my leg and didn't notice. But there's no sign of injury. Just a lump on my bone that hurts.

I pleaded and finally get to see my mental doctor on Thursday. But I can't stop all these thoughts. Now I'm scared thinking what if we become ill and I can't go.

I really feel like I've gone off the deep end.

bakomom,

I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time.  I am quite concerned about you, especially your not eating. Has your psychologist ever talked with you re emetophobia, the extreme fear of being sick and others being sick?

You are more likely to get really sick from not eating as your body needs all the nutrition you get from eating a well rounded diet.

Don't get into "What if?" thinking such as "what if we become ill and I  can't go?"

Plan on going on Thursday and stay in the moment not worrying about what might possibly happen.  That is just speculation in anxiety mode.

Kindly,

Kitt

You keep worrying about getting sick you will end up that way. Energy goes where energy flows.

Ok when you starve yourself you must and I repeat you must still ingest whatever bare minimal you can force yourself too especially if you can't stomach much you should eat highly nutritious food like fruits, herbs, vegetables and nuts. They will raise your mood and help provide the body with much needed vitality. No drugs, they are proving in actuality to increase your chance of psychosis.

You must understand that in the not so distant future your health hypochondria can actually drive you into developing stress related health issues. There are many mechanisms you can practice to dissolve these thoughts and emotions.

By discriminating between your natural state which is free from suffering while you are in the cycle requires a certain mastery of your mind to combat the varies subtle forms of depression, compulsion, worry & anxiety by navigating with a one-pointed concentration with regulating your breathing, using mantra meditation, yogic exercises, sensory withdrawal & restraint, integrating the body and mind with peaceful and joyful activities, proper diet (very interconnected relationship between body and mind state) seeking higher knowledge with introverted self-inquiry because self awareness will enrich your life and help you overcome unconscious tendencies.

A Psychologist can only guide you through the basic hydraulics of your mind, however you must also subjectively train, study and practice with determination (it becomes effortless as you grow wise in due practice) because it isn't a walk in the park to permanently remove negative/unneeded thought processes.

Identifying the cycle prior to engaging in it is to recognize the power of attaching interpretations to the "I am"; understanding "I am this or that" and how powerful they can be over your emotions and physiology.

I also highly doubt you have cancer, while I wouldn't ignore you like they have I wouldn't want to pump you full of high levels of radioactivity either...

Post Edited (Cosmic Being) : 7/2/2014 10:48:17 AM (GMT-6)

Mommie, can one have OCD about health anxiety? I don't know
but you seem to lean that way, you are in my Prayers. Peace

Larry ***

Ok Mommie, you stay in my Prayers, Peace

Larry ***

Post Edited (lgm1942) : 7/4/2014 3:09:57 PM (GMT-6)

Hi Niknoc and welcome.

I am sorry to hear that your anxiety is ramping up currently. It would be a smart move to go get checked out by your doctor if you have not done so recently...just to rule out anything medical that could be causing your worsening symptoms.

However, in the likely event that you find anxiety to blame...here is the link to our Resources full of self-help ideas for managing anxiety.

Take a look and give them a try. They work if practiced daily....especially the stress relief exercise links.

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

Keep posting with us for support as well. We are here to listen and understand.:)

Scaredy Cat

Mom- how long has this been affecting your life? Are you under a lot of stress or change right now?

What I do know: you're not crazy or going to lose it. What you're going through feels terrible and awful but it's not going to last. With meds AND a combination of positive self talk, reframing negative thoughts (CBT), mindfulness, meditation, you will kick this in the rear end.

I've been struggling too with different issues but the same feelings of dread, weirdness, anxiety & depression. Come to think of it, dread & weirdness could be 2 adjectives that describe most anxiety or depression lol.

Maybe your past therapist wasn't a good fit. Search local therapist who specialize in anxiety disorders. I think getting stabilized on meds helps therapy a lot but I've been told by experts to do all the non-medicine stuff too before/during/after you feel "normal" again (which you will).

You're not alone & this 'ain't gonna last forever. Some experts, even my psychiatrist, says those of us with anxiety & depression can actually be more productive & "happy" bc we know what pain is and it makes our joy, strength and confidence that much greater by overcoming w/therapy, self help skills, meds or D. All of the above. He promotes yoga/exercise, counseling & meditation in addition to meds. Most of the great self helpers & leaders in this world all struggled. We can overcome to and do great things & find peace, joy and confidence with a little work.

Best wishes!

Lisa

Merrida has brought up something that I have thought about for
years, its not a lot different than a blind date, if things don't
click then we either don't repeat the date with that person, so
I think there needs to be some kind of advocacy or method of
finding a therapist or doctor that fits us. Insurance probably
prevents this, but it sure needs to happen. Happy 4th and Peace

Larry ***