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Pills calling to me

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Posted 7/13/2014 4:11 AM (GMT 0)
Don't know what to do .... I have all these meds calling to me tonight. Something is going on, I'm having a terrible PTSD flare up and don't know what to do. I hate feeling like this I don't want to hurt my husband or my family. What do I do to regain control?
Posted 7/13/2014 4:34 AM (GMT 0)
Hi SKY,

I am sorry that you are having a rough night.:(

Having the PTSD flare is certainly not what you wanted to happen on your Saturday night at home with your family, I am sure.

Though you are having intrusive thoughts and feelings...this does not mean that you will act on them. You never have in the past, right?

May I inquire as to what you mean by the meds/pills calling to you?

Do you mean your prescribed, as needed medication? Or perhaps something that is not meant for you/recreational ?

Either way, it seems that you are struggling with this, so is there someone you can call? Your psychiatrist, as an emergency? A trusted friend, or family member that you can talk with?

How about any coping skills that have gotten you through similar circumstances in the past?

Please post back and let us know how we can best support you now. We care!

S.C.
Posted 7/13/2014 6:44 AM (GMT 0)
How do I reply? I'm better now, I posted requesting help in a bunch of PTSD and Chronic Pain closed groups on Facebook. Over 20 people replied and are talking to me, helping me, calming me down, getting me out of my unacceptable thoughts. I'm heavily medicated for PTSD and Chronic Pain. I know how to mix and OD which scares me. I have no intention of ever doing it but when the dark thoughts come, and they do I change. I am no longer Sky. I am someone else. Someone else who isn't strong, who doesn't want to fight, someone who wants to give up and just never wake up.

I've had a mental illness since I was 12 in 1997. Thoughts and feelings have come and gone over the past 17 years. Actions happen. What I mean by the pills are calling to me is that they are there and I know what they can do they can end it all - no more suffering, no more pain. That's why I posted on here and on FB. I wanted to regain my thoughts and stop the unacceptable thoughts. I have!

Because of my illnesses I have a lot of medications that can be abused and used improperly. I don't normally abuse them but sometimes I am not myself and loose control. That's when I ask for help as I did tonight.

My husband is in the same room and knows I'm struggling. We though support from others that could understand me was best. He's here if I need him and will do anything for me.

Because I'm now back to "myself" I'm able to meditate. When I'm suffering I'm not myself and can't regain control. Talking to people tonight allowed me to regain control.

Thank you for your concern and help. I appreciate the forum being here. I've never needed it as badly as I need it tonight. Thank you!
Posted 7/13/2014 6:54 AM (GMT 0)
SKY.,

I am so glad that you reached out, and are now in a better place.

As long as you have a safety net, you can ask for help and support and find that it is full of people who care about you...and that the bad moments are going to pass, and you will be alright.

You are stonger and braver than you know...you proved it again tonight by fighting this.

I am relieved to know that you are feeling better, and that you have your family looking out for you.

Amazing job on getting through this rough time!

I am sending thoughts and prayers for your continued wellness!

Post anytime.

S.C.
Posted 7/13/2014 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
I am glad that you have your husband with you and that you know that reaching out for help can pull you out of these panicked states. You know what works for you, you recognized these intrusive thoughts, and just as you did before, you reached out for help.

That is the biggest, (I think), hardest thing to do when we're scared. Ask for help. We don't want to be weak, we feel helpless. But you handled yourself and this matter with grace!

Good for you!






M.
Posted 7/13/2014 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
SKY,

I know we have had conversations in the past and I am sorry to read you were in a tough spot last night.  I am going to post the emergency information in case there is a next time you will have it available. 

Crisis Information

  • If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.

  • If you believe you may be suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) immediately, or consult their website at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They are available 24/7 for anyone in suicidal crisis in the United States.

  • Don't forget to make use of other sources of support that you may have, such as:
    • Friends and family
    • Colleagues
    • Counselors
    • Clergy
    • Other community members
    • Support workers
    • Other healthcare professionals
    • Crisis center in your area.

We wish you well and hope that you find the resources and support that you need.

Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard any professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on HealingWell.

Kindly,

Kitt

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