THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE !!!!! ....... CAN"T TAKE IT !!!!!!!! ....

THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE !!!!! ........

I have had it !!!!! its august 2014 and i been dealing with this since aug 2012 !!!! IM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW !!!! it hurts me so bad that this not only effects me but my son , who by the way just beat cancer , and trying to get back to being a normal 14 yr old , the last two years have been pure hell !!!!!! you hear me !!!!!!!! i trust in the Lord with all my heart , but sometimes its just too much !!!! trust i still give him glory through all the tears and hurt and pain , but im really hurting !!!!! i mean really hurting !!!! im sitting here trying to think if i should go to the ER or not this will only be my 1000000 visit ...........

today i was suppose to take my son on an overnight trip to a waterpark for fun with his cousin and just relax , i feel so horrible today , i had to make excuses why i couldnt go !!!!!!! im sick of living like this ...... at one time i was so house bound , although i do leave the house now , i only go around the corner for work , or to the local stores , last weekend i was with my bf so i was out for the first time in a long time and felt ok for the most part !!!!!!!

I have done all i can do , and i dont know why this is still haunting me !!! i have seen every , and i mean every specialist you can think of and i mean ones that i didnt even know exist !!!!!! i have had so many test and procedures that i may have done more harm to myself !!!!!!

if its not they constant chest pain and aches , its the horrible , head pains , headaches , dizzyness , foggy head , feeling like passing out , head explode , tension headche , highh anxiety , body in pain , pain up and down my back , stomach cramps , feet and fingers tingling , itcy crawling skin , eyes hurting , etc !!!!!

my son cancer is gone , im back at work , have a new bf , things are not perfect , but they are better , so why do i feel like doom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and yes , i have a psychairist and a therpist who i see once a week and the other twice a week !!!!!!

i have been on many different meds , with lots of error

i pray , mediate , etc .....

my mood is crappy , i have aches up and down my back and around my chest area , up and down my legs !!!!

its beautiful outside , my bf is worried about me !!!! my son is sad he really dont deserve any of this !!! this kid just beat cancer and just want us to have a normal life and i dont want him under any stress worrying about me!!!!!!!!!!


i know things could be worst , people are worst of then me , so im still thankful we woke up this morning !!!!

im just really going through it today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont know whats wrong !!!! or why i still feel this way !!!!!

this is horrible and i just wanna take a trip and enjoy life with my child !!!!! and go out and not be scared or worry about what ER im going to go to !!!!!!! im 35 .... this is no way to live ...

before this i had no issues whatsoever !!!!!!! 200% normal , ate very good !!!!! no meat , no junk , went to gym , and BAM !!!!!!

Now its in bed , scared to live like a normal person !!!! mind always racing !!!!!!!

Lord help me please !!!!!!

My gosh you've been through a lot! No doubt that your sons cancer has opened up this Pandora box for you and rightfully so! Give yourself a break. I mean you've been through probably one of the most terrifying experiences with your son, that your body is still reacting to all the tension and stress it's been under. Do you clench your jaw? (Headache) do you tense up your shoulders? (Pain) do you breathe to shallow? (Pins and needles and a whole slew of other things! ) and finally, have you accepted that your symptoms are from anxiety? Have you ever tried a benzo? That may prove to you that your physical symptoms are all from anxiety. When I used to worry about my health, I had so many symptoms that I brought on myself. I was convinced that I had MS for a long time, but nope. Then I thought I had cancer, nope. I even had symptoms of a heart attack, but it was in fact anxiety. It can come on in so many disguises. Please give yourself permission to get better. You are here at the right place where everyone can relate in some way. Btw, a friend that I had made here on HW struggled for 3 whole years and tried over 6 different meds and finally she got the right one. She never gave up and neither should you! You deserve to feel well and enjoy your family and you will. Be well, Lisa

Thanks everyone , im here at the ER , everything looks good ......
I really didnt want to come but I was in a bad place , I spoke with my psycharist and he is starting me on 12.5 zoloft to see how it goes , ... I did 25 before, for about a month , it Gave me heighted anxiety and werid chest aches , my doc said it was probably more of my anxiety and Fear , but funny thing , when I stop taking the zoloft for the first 3. Days , I had the best time ever ....I almost felt Like myself ........ Uhhhh here we go again with the meds .....

Where is Larry & S.C ...... I Miss them .........

thank you .... the er doc gave me some mag pills , my mag was a little low ... which is weird because , i had my blood work the other day and it was fine ..... but anyways im home from the ER and just going to start my zoloft tomorrow and pray

Emma, I have it on good authority that you are going to beat
this lying monster that steals the time God has given us, yes it
is my belief that he who knows his time is short is prowling the
streets of the world picking on God's people trying to destroy
the good life that our Creator has given us!
You have been given a Spirit of Strength not weakness, you are
under attack because you are Special to God's work on Earth!
It's this simple give every care to our Father, You will win! Peace
Larry ***

thanks .... yes i see a psych doc and a thearpist .... and they both say its going to take alot of work ......

While we all are always going to have intense moments, some more so than others, you're right, we also need breaks from feeling there's an unrelenting onslaught.

Are there any activities or exercises (such as mindfulness ones and breathing) that work for you, even if it's for a short bit.

If you can break things up into small chunks to help avoid viewing the day as a whole,...take little bites of events and time one at a time, as they come up, and try a coping skill. Check in with your body once an hour to do 3 minutes of deep breathing (or the 20-second exercise I posted)

Enough breaks in the day can help break the cycle....

Keep posting. We are here for you!










M.

started the 12.5 zoloft last night didnt like how i felt , chest was aches ...uhhh here we go again